User:IBSloat/Gender roles in childhood/CyanCaribou Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Assigned to: IBSloat, MyaC2001


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:IBSloat/Gender roles in childhood


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Gender roles in childhood

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

- make sure the lead reflects the changes you are making to the body when you publish your article

- the lead should summarize the main points in the article, therefore you should probably breifly mention your sections in the lead when you merge it.

Content

- relevant

- cannot tell if it is up to date because citations are not included in the references briefly

- seems to be written like an essay as there are concluding sentences sometimes. For example: "However, all children need support, love, and care from family, school, and society, which fosters growth into happy and healthy adults." -- this seems like you're summing up in my personal opinion, it would be better maybe to phrase it differently, as it still is an important sentence.

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Citations

- citations are not all working on the draft

- citations are missing in huge sections of the draft as of 2023-03-30 10:40pm

- could work more on the bibliography

To improve

- an image or media would be fairly easy for this section you're adding, and could help make the article look more finished.

- make sure there are no viewpoints that are under represented. For example, maybe include the different types of parenting (in more contemporary times - I think parents are trying to influence gender less upon their parents) You write as most parents, but it would be interesting to explore alternatives to that very boy vs girl type of parenting. How are non-binary parents parenting? How are transgender parents parenting - are there differences?

- I think a cool section that could be added would be more international in approach, and how differences in culture changes gender expression in childhood. ex. (I haven't done any research on the topic but...) imagine growing up in the royal family (plus the gender roles associated with that), versus in North American Indigenous cultures where women are super powerful and have roles that are different than traditional western gender expression/norms. (maybe it's not the scope of your article - but could be something interesting to explore in my opinion)

Tone

- pretty good I would say.

Organization

- make sure to lowercase your subtitles (other than the first letter) - as it says in the wiki training

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Overall...

- no huge shortcomings, voice and tone are suitable for this project

- enough research has been done

- work on citations and bibliography