User:Ian8288

Kyle R Schmitt (born, Peoria, Illinois), nicknamed "Airborn",

High School Career
In high school, Kyle Schmitt played junior varsity football and baseball for all 4 years. While attending high school, he set multiple school records such as having least playing time of any high school football player in the nation with 0 minutes. And setting a record in baseball for most given runs in a single season with 118. He was also the only student in Illinois State to ever be demoted from junior varsity to pee wee football.

Another highlight of Kyle's High School career was when he dressed EMO for his senior year vice versa that was themed "Saturday Night Fever." He was also an hour late to dinner because he was straightening his hair. His date still hasn't forgiven him.

College Career
Upon graduating from Peoria Norte Damn Catholic High School, he decided to commit to Bradley University and decided to major in secondary education with concentration in Chemistry. He lived in Geisert Hall on the tenth floor. Kyle was the first person ever to attend Bradley to receive a 0.00 GPA for a semester. While in college, Kyle was nominated as Grizzly Chewing Tobacco’s spokes person.

College Career – Basketball
During Kyle’s freshman, sophomore, and junior year he played as a SG/SF for We Dunked on Jesus. During those 3 years all stats were lost due to Kyle Schmitt’s numerous hard drive malfunctions. But for his senior year, We Dunked on Jesus moved across campus and became Nancy Maynard (team name came from the owner’s obsessions with Michael Maynard’s mother). During his senior year, Kyle played in all 7 games but went scoreless in 4 out of the 7 games. Kyle was known for his impulse to shoot the 3 and that came his nickname “Airborne” because he would miss the rim completely.

College Career – Soccer
Kyle was also a midfield and striker for We Scored on Jesus. Sadly, Kyle’s career in soccer was short lived because of his shortness of breath within the first 3 minutes of the game.

Passions
Kyle Schmitt always shared a passion for Golf and was hoping one day he could compete in the PGA tour after watch Happy Gilmore. Tiger Woods was Kyle’s childhood role model right when he turned 21 years of age he also realized that he shared the same passion with Tiger Woods and golden showers.

After Kyle realized that with his many years of practice and was never able to shoot under 127 strokes, he decided to switch his professional career to darts. Kyle was also very unsuccessful at darts resulting in 28 loses (including 18 straight loses) and 3 wins to Ron Wong. Kyle was also the only player to have ever been hurt by his own dart and scored a Guinness World Record of 8 doors in a single game.

Another passion Kyle has is for video games; he was very excited and had a massive erection when he saw that Michael Maynard purchased NHL 11. After 2 straight win Kyle ego’s got extremely big. Kyle began talking a lot of garbage and that led to his downfall of is NHL 11 career. After losing to Ian Jones 17 games to 3 he decided to try and move on and play Worms Armageddon (Which he constantly watches youtube tutorials on how to beat levels which he can not replicate).