User:Icejunofish

= Article Critique = I visited The Incredible True Story Wikipedia page and found two things worth commenting on: nowhere in the page talks about how Thalia connects "Under Pressure", the album previous, to The Incredible True Story, and this one specific term "worked out" I did not see fit for the sentence when explaining the plot of the album.

Thalia Connecting "Under Pressure" and "The Incredible True Story"
Thalia is the computer program (A.I.) that Quinton Thomas, the pilot of the Aquarius III, has on board. At the beginning of the album as Thomas, picked up William Kai, the ships first man of infantry. Kai asked Thomas "So what did you do on the way over here?", "Oh, yaknow, just listening to some oldies." Thomas said in reply. "Oldies? like who?" "Logic." Kai began to tease Thomas, questioning if he actually knew anything about Logic. Thomas replied "Well I listened to his first album on the ride over here." "Under Pressure?!?!" Kai said in astonishment.

What this interaction gives us is the whole connection between the albums. Thalia, as mentioned previously, is heard throughout "Under Pressure". Giving the listener information of the albums creation. But when the both albums are played consecutively, Thalia seamlessly flows through the albums.Thalia is not talking to us, Thalia is talking to Thomas as he is on his way to pick up Kai. Thomas stated he was listening to Logic's first album on the ride over, Thalia was talking to Thomas, giving him the information of the albums creation, not us. Then, throughout the rest of "The Incredible True Story" Thalia is interacting with Thomas and Kai, aiding them through their journey to paradise. Further proving that Thalia is only talking to Thomas and Kai and not the listeners like you and me. This is a significant part of the album because it shows how the two albums are connected in such a creative way that no one on the page even mentions.

Logic explains the connection himself. Interviewed by "G-Fuel", the video is titled "Logic Explains Incredible True Story Artwork"

"Worked Out"
Using the word "worked out" does not seem to fit the tone of how the plot summary was written. The sentence was "As the remainder of Babel worked out the rate at which humans are dying". "Worked out" just seemed too casual to me. The plot is about how humanity has been a cancerous sore on Earth; Nuclear wars and pollution were the main cause of the deaths of billions of human beings on this planet. To say "'worked out' the rate at which humans are dying" as apposed to "'calculated' the rate at which humans are dying" is lazy. Worked out is the casual, lazy version of calculated and when talking about the rate at which the humanity is dying, the grammar should be formal, it should stay consistent with the rest of the summary.

Conclusion
I would rate this article as "pretty good". The plot summary had most of the important events that happened, overall complete summary of the plot but still lacks the explanation of how Thalia connects both albums seamlessly. The word choice was, at times, a bit questionable. I have already placed my edit for the "worked out" to "calculated" and I have yet to receive any questions about it. The rest of the article displays excellent sources, coupled with accurate data and complete credits for the songs within this amazing album.

(As part of the assignment, I have added my edit here)