User:Igloomonkey/sandbox

Hercules (Tiberius) Thundergasp (birth:unknown)

Herc, as he is known to his friends, was born in the early 1960's to Marjorie and Glute Thundergasp in Key West, Florida. He was mostly home-schooled by his mother, an accomplished abalone diver. His other siblings, Stanish, Levon, Moe, Indigo and Razzy all died due to a poisonous church spagetti dinner which affected 14 others. Most of the people that perished at the fundraiser were dignitaries from several local towns including Hats McKoy, the famous, "Mayor of the Keys"and Anita Bryant of orange juice fame. His father, a local butcher, runs a bait shop and soap company.

Mr. Thundergasp is most widely known as a hollywood insider. Once known as, "The Career Whisperer", Herc was instrumental in the upswings and downturns of major celebrities and power players in the Los Angeles music, theater and film. The most famous blunder was urging Phil Collins of Genesis to release his 1996 album, "Get off my Lawn", which led him to bankruptcy. He was later forced to sell his royalty rights from, "Su Su Sudio" and "ABACAB" to Hercules to pay his legal fees. Although contrite about his part of Phil's misfortune, he was later quoted as saying, "In the end, I think a great deed to the music community was achieved purely by accident". Herc also sang on Sting's, "Give Me My Thing, Doo Dah" and "Wet Toast and Eggs in the Rain with Dry Socks in my Shoes", the power ballad on Billboards top 200. Amoung other liaisons in the music world, none was so bright as the trio dubbed, "Da Pack" compromising of Hercules, Axl Rose and Pat Sajak. Their antics at The Whisky -A-Go Go and Bart's Clam Bar rival that of Hunter S. Thompson and friends. Herc's works during that period were mostly panned as, ''alcoholic fueled global paranoia tinged with hangover grandeur." Axl has still not paid Herc for his lyrics to "November Rain".

Bill Gates of Microsoft credits Hercules with creating the flying toaster screensaver on his operating system. During the 80's, he was introduced to Martin Scorsese who said that, "We're it not for not for dozens of evening confounding conversations with Herc, I would never have envisioned the kind of trademark violence my movies are known for. Any scene in any of my movies that have baseball bats and vicious attacks I owe to Hercules Thundergasp, but I am not at liberty to explain why other than he infuriates. He's one of my closest friends". Additionally during this time, Hercules is also known for coining the popular phrases," Blame the Amish" and "Rush Limbaugh Can Kiss My Black Ass". Drew was unavailable for comment.

His most famous notable achievement was during his 'Depressive' period in the early 90's. For two years, he struggled with both learning the mathematics and later exercising his brain in his paper,"E=MC to the Third", which theoretically proves that Einstein was wrong about his formula for energy. The paper maintains that the true formula for energy exists in chocolate, especially chocolate pudding. The New York Times claims that, "Mr. Thundergasp concepts are both flaccid and invigorating, depending on whether the reader takes the prescribed medications suggested in the forward". His first wife, Bridget Fonda, has still not recovered from her first reading and is still on suicide watch at Los Angeles Psychiatric Hospital.

These days, exonerated from his participation in the, "Florida Hanging Chad" scandal, Mr. Thundergasp spends most of his time in isolation on his private island he named,  "La Isla Bonita". He continues to set fires occasionally. Herc and The Layers', his band plays proms, bar mitzvahs and parole parties. His latest novel, "Ignore them, Keep Talking" is due for release in July 2012.