User:Iisabellasanch/Advocacy group/Leamanda Peer Review

"Social media, in other words, mobilizes diverse groups of people."


 * I made this comment in your other article but I will reiterate it here. I don't think encyclopedia writing uses interrupters like "in other words". But the sentence itself may be taking a side too much rather than providing information. I would double check with Professor Talwalker to see what she thinks

"While these studies show the acceptance of social media use by advocacy groups, populations not affiliated with media advocacy often question the benevolence of social media. Rather than fostering an atmosphere of camaraderie and universal understanding, many believe social media to perpetuate power hierarchies. More specifically, social media can provide "a means of reproducing power and fulfilling group interest for those possessing excessive power... [having the potential to] indirectly reinforce elitist domination." 


 * Really great. I like that you show both points of views and citations are seen after each sentence

"By excluding those who lack access to the internet, social media inherently misrepresents populations- particularly the populations in low-income countries."


 * This might be too strongly taking a side rather than presenting factual information

"Many believe this perspective to be euphemized and inauthentic- devaluing the concerns of low-income communities. "


 * You have done this a few times saying "many believe" without specifically referring to who these people are. I know you did citations but it may be beneficial to include names or groups who are taking these stands rather than generalizing them as "many"

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Iisabellasanch


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Iisabellasanch/Advocacy_group?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Advocacy group
 * Advocacy group

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)