User:Immortal113

This page was created to inform the general public on the life, undeath, and mystery of Immortal113.

The Living Legend
Who is Immortal113? Are his methods...super-natural?

These questions are only a few of the fives of tens of mysteries surrounding the internet savant and renaissance man known only as Immortal113. To his enemies, he is a curse. To his friends, he is also a curse. To his fans, he is an attractive curse. Women don't want him, men want to beat him. The United States federal government has, on at least two occasions, spoke ill of Immortal113, and done little to nothing to apologize about it later. A girl Immortal knows once called him "baboon-haired." Diplomatic relations have since deteriorated.

I would like to read a list of Immortal113's attributes, preferably in a "What If" format
If Immortal113 were a color, he would be midnight blue.

If he were a food, he would be apples.

If Immortal113 had a super-power, it would be any of the number of super-powers that he has.

If Immortal113 were a bird, he would be a bird that never, ever died, and that could speak English.

If ever you met Immortal113 on the street, you would not know it, for Immortal113 does not relate his name to passersby, and when he does, only receives remarks such as, "Cool," or "Let go of my purse."

A woman once approached Immortal113 in his home, insulted his taste, and attempted to steal all of his things and force him out. Immortal113 retaliated by saying, "Mom, I hate you." Negotiations are currently at a stand-still.

Immortal113 has never seen any of the Godfather movies. He almost did once, but you know how it goes.

If Immortal113 were a list, he would be this one. Three times.

How can I contact Immortal113?
If you need to contact Immortal113, just whistle. Preferably also send him some sort of tangible communication, such as an electronic letter or a phone call (in which case you may whistle into the phone for effect, or, in the case of email, attach some sort of audio file, preferably an mp3).

Is there anything else about Immortal113 I should know?
Immortal113 is an expert film maker, whose continually updated archives can be viewed at the address paired with this bit of colored text. You may also reach the exact same location by clicking here, here, or this link here.