User:Improv/Wikipedia is Paper

Effective immediately, the Wiki is not paper policy is rescinded. In order to make Wiki available to the entire world, Wikipedia will be paper. Therefore, Javascript has been added to the site so that each user's computer, on next login, will print out ten articles along with a self-addressed envelope. The user will then mail the article to the Wikimedia foundation, providing their own postage. This technology, known as a Redundant Array of Inexpensive Printing (or RAIP) will save the foundation thousands of dollars in printing costs. After receipt, the articles will be checked to ensure they are not vandalised versions, the online versions will be permanently locked to that version, and the pages will be laminated and stored in a vault. When the encyclopedia is complete, our founder, Jimbo Wales, will then have all human knowledge and transcend into a higher state of being, starting a wave of transcendence that will eventually bleed its way through Arbcom, Medcom, and users with the most edits, eventually down to users with lots of edits and administrators. It is not known if/when the process will stop before all Wikipedians become higher beings. It has been suggested that, even if completed, users will be able to manually transcend after the main event by successfully applying on Requests for Transcendence.