User:Inexperienced Egg/Fatimid art/Mmille12 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Igotnooname, Mellowyellow4


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Inexperienced%20Egg/Fatimid_art?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Fatimid art

Evaluate the drafted changes
A few typos (some inherited from the original article), first sentence, 'in Arab empire'. Add 'the'. A period after Shia Ismailist in the first paragraph. There are a few others, but they are very minor, so a second look through would probably clean them all up.

There are a few long sentences that make it difficult to keep focus on the idea you are trying to get across. Again, I think these are from the original article but it might be good to clean them up.

The way you have reformatted the article makes it much more organized, great job!

Wow! You have found and added so much information, that's really awesome.

There are some parts that don't feel entirely objective, "Fatimid architecture is crucial to today's study", "hey ought to be put in a much larger context of the medieval Mediterranean world than just North Africa and Egypt." It is written well, just perhaps too subjective for Wikipedia. It could be worthwhile to go through the draft and anywhere that has a lot of adjectives or generally colorful language, reconsider if it is as objective as you would like it to be.

New references, nice, and your citations throughout help to build credibility.

In the Fatimid Books and Building Inscriptions sections, some links to other wiki pages on some of those niche terms could be helpful.A few redundant things, not sure if it needs to be reworked, but the caliphate and its ruling information are repeated. Might be fine, just something to consider.

If you can find more images, that might be useful, but I know that can be difficult with copyright laws.

Just by reading your addition, I felt like I learned a lot and it definitely enhanced the original article. It really is just a few cleanup things, otherwise, amazing job!