User:Iphigenia in Tauris/Elpinice/Pagelliad Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Iphigenia in Tauris


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Iphigenia%20in%20Tauris/Elpinice?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Elpinice

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hello!

First of all well done, it is clear you have spent some time learning about your topic.

1) I think the lead could be expanded by a sentence or two. It gives her name (and its meaning) and that she was a noblewoman, but in order for it to reflect the rest of the page it could maybe also include a brief mention of her important connections/accomplishments.

2) I think you have added nice organization to the article. It seems there are some spacing issues towards the bottom, but nothing major.

3) I think each section has a valid length in comparison to its importance. It would be great if you could somehow find a picture/representation of Elpinice, but I am sure you have tried to. Maybe a photo of Laodice who you said was based on her features?

4) The phrase "this suggests continuing closeness and loyalty with her brother" could be seen as reaching an implied conclusion/implying stance. So I would possibly rework it to be more neutral. I just checked the original page and saw that you were not the one who wrote that, so do with that what you will. I also see that in your last section, you wrote that "This dismissed the seriousness of her charge and at the same time implied women's only power lay in their sexuality" which I also interpret to be making an argument that is not necessarily neutral (even though it may be completely true.) This assignment is not your average history paper, I am struggling with staying completely neutral too haha.

5) I see you made a note about your citations, so I won't talk about that too much. Looks good, as you said maybe another one would help with broad perspective and range of sources.

Good job and good luck!!