User:Irj456/Covert racism/Hgarth Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Use John Jackson's full name, link to his wikipedia page

Great job creating many internal wiki links to relevant pages.

Really excellent and wide ranging use of sources so far!

I think it could use a thorough proof-reading for neutral tone, some sentences read as if they are part of a scholarly argument rather than neutral "fact" or encyclopedic language.

Think about adding key sentences to each section of the current article, to sort of pepper your contribution throughout rather than plop it in as one chunk. ie make these additions more smoothly integrated into the whole piece.

Great work overall!!