User:Irkens rule

Thomas Walsh
Thomas Walsh is the most awesome man on earth (according to Einstein's theory of relativity). If you do not know him, the world morns for you. What kind of overly sheltered life could you possibly live where you haven't heard the name Thomas Walsh, uttered in adoring ways.

Early life
Thomas David Walsh was born on September 2nd, 1982, to parents David and Judith.While Thomas Walsh was still a child, he attended the prestigious Emmanuel Lutheran School in Dearborn Michigan. During this time Tom led the school's basketball team to a school record 1-11 season. His stamina, courage, sneakiness, and awe-inspiring presence were too much for the pitiful team of St. Paul Northville when they crushed them 11 to 10. He also installed the school's, still operating, cryogenic freezer, in which they store projects for the taxidermy class.

In the year 2007, he carried LHWL's JV football team to many a victory. The world waits at bated breath for the day when Tom returns to the field

Career
Thomas Walsh had his first job as a male prostitute. He quit this after becoming bored of the desperate fat chicks, and pursued a career in the FBI. He didn't even go through training before being assigned a spot on the U.S.Z.C.S. (United States Zombie Control Squad). He was quickly assigned a mission as an undercover scout in the Detroit Metropolitan area. His craftiness allowed him to blend in with the students of Lutheran Highschool Westland very well. At his post he scouts the area for zombies and possible new recruits.

In addition to his FBI job, Tom is the current champion of the new sport "Turtles&Spiders" which had its first recorded game on May 14, 2007. His opponent, the tenacious Franklin Carl Frederick Shithead Bez, was overcome by his amazing speed and tenacity.

Trivia
Thomas Walsh is an avid gamer and is known to play Counter-Strike:Source and Star Wars Battlefront(1&2).

In his spare time, Tom builds, installs and repairs cryogenic freezers.

Tom has been seen spraying graffiti on several occasions in and around Detroit.

Tom belongs to the gang Wes' Canton with founding members Gage Fryz, Andrew Gabrish, Kevin Howard, Justin Faunce and Larry Helka.

Tom is the only living person who can escape the world famous Starfish Slam.

Tom has appeared on the hit game show "Whammy!" twice.