User:Ishira25/Timothy Brei/Allyssa.b Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Ishira25


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ishira25/Timothy_Brei?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * This article does not exist in the main space yet

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

The lead is concise and includes relevant information that sets up the article very well. It includes an introductory sentence that describes the articles topics. In the last sentence of the lead, you should add "who" or "that" between individual and have so it says "individuals who have significantly..." so that the sentence makes more sense. You do not have any information in your lead that is not in the rest of the article which is good.

Content

Your content is all relevant to the topic you are discussing and it is all up to date. The article does deal with an equity gap as the individual being discussed is a disabled individual. This article does a good job at highlighting the difficulties this individual faced and at highlighting as an uncommon leader.

Tone and Balance

This article has a very neutral tone and does not attempt to persuade the reader one way or the other. There are no claims that are biased or not backed by information and everything presented is from a fact stance.

Sources and References

All of the sources that are used are reliable credible sources. There is a fairly large range of sources and they are all current and thorough. All of the links appear to work as well. Make sure that you are citing information you use from outside information every single time you use the outside information. It seems you have only cited all of your sources once, but to be able to understand where each piece of information is coming from, you need to have a citation at the end of it. In your early life and education it seems you only have cited the very last sentence but there should be citations for the other information presented in this section.

Organization

The information is presented in a clear and well organized manner. The section in a good order that allows the article to flow well. Under medical career and advocacy your second sentence has the word "the" repeated twice so you may want to remove that.

Images and Media

The image appears to be cited correctly and is a clearly image that allows for a better understanding of the topic. The image is laid out in a visually appealing way. You could consider adding another picture of one of the universities he attended or possibly of Seattle Children's Hospital where he works.

New Articles

The article has at least two sources that are independent of the subject and the sources seem to be an exhaustive list of the information on this individual. The article does follow the format of other articles as it has a heading, infobox, as well as other similar features. There are many links to other wiki pages.

Overall Impressions

This is a very strong article that does a great job at highlighting the uncommon leader being discussed! Must make sure you fix the few grammar mistakes and possibly add a few more citations! Great work!