User:Ishira25/Timothy Brei/SonyaBIOL497 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Ishira25


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Ishira25/Timothy Brei


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Same as link to draft.

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead section is clear and concise and foreshadows all of the subsequent sections you include in more detail later. One edit I would make to the Lead section is your last sentence.

What you have now:

Annually, the Spina Bifida Association of America presents the Timothy Brei, MD, Outstanding Healthcare Professional Award to individuals have significantly impacted healthcare in relation to Spina Bifida treatment and care.

'''I suggest changing the end of this sentence so that it is more clear and concise. Maybe something like this:'''

Annually, the Spina Bifida Association of America presents the Timothy Brei, MD, Outstanding Healthcare Professional Award to individuals who have made a significant impact in Spina Bifida treatment and care.

I really like your infobox to the side with the profile pic and some basic info like Education and Occupation. The table for awards makes the page look very organized, and I like how you have a small column on the table for references. Overall, I think everything is organized very well and your sentence structure is great. Sentences vary in length and are clear and concise. No topic is over or underrepresented, and content is written in a neutral stance. Regarding citations, I noticed that in some paragraphs, such as the first paragraph in the lead and the first two paragraphs in the Early Life section you have no citations. Did all of that information come from the same source, so you just put the citation at the very end of the section? I think it would be more clear if you add the citation at the end of every sentence even if it is from the same source. This would show that you got the specific information from somewhere and not nowhere. That's just my opinion though. I don't know if that is required or not. If you want to make the page more visually appealing, maybe add a photo corresponding to the Early Life and Education section or the Medical Career and Advocacy Section? For example, a simple one you can do for Early Life is a picture of one of the institutions he attended. For Medical Career, if there is a picture online of him treating a patient, that would be awesome to include. Another simple pic you could do here is just add the Spina Bifida Association of America Logo. The biggest suggestion I would make for your page is to add more links to words or phrases you have on your page. Below are some examples from each section.

EARLY LIFE AND EDUCATION

I would include more links to some words you use such as “physician”, “Biology”, “medical school”, “doctor of medicine”, “residency”, “developmental pediatrics” if you can.

MEDICAL CAREER AND ADVOCACY

I would also include links to words you have here such as “Indiana University School of Medicine”, “associate professor” (also make sure to capitalize the A and P here), “clinical pediatrics”, “Seattle Children’s Hospital”, “neurodevelopmental pediatrics”, “Best Doctors in America”, “Suzhou Children's Hospital” if you can.