User:Itps2022/Catharine Flood McCall/Gabbyhistory316 Peer Review

Passage I'm peer-reviewing:

**I've bolded the text that I've added**

Catharine Flood McCall (December 25, 1766–March 9, 1828) was an early 19th century slave-owner and business woman. She was the largest female slave-owner in Essex County, Virginia for decades, and founded two nail-making manufactories, one in Alexandria (1798) and one in Richmond (1805). [DELETE: during a time when women generally did not operate businesses or manage finances.] While it wasn't rare for a woman to manage finances at this time, it was more rare for a woman to manage manufacturing enterprises, like an ironworks or salt mine. Prior to and during the American Revolutionary War, she was educated in Edinburgh and Glasgow, Scotland and in London, England. She inherited Cedar Grove and Clydeside plantations in Essex County following the death of her maternal grandfather, Dr. Nicholas Flood in 1776. Parliament passed a law that prevented people traveling to the British colonies during the war. '''McCall, her sister Elizabeth (Betsey), and her father fled at the beginning of the war because he was a Loyalist. Betsey died abroad. Archibald and Catharine''' were unable to return to Virginia until 1782. She was among the largest slaveholders in Essex County, Virginia and received an inheritance from her maternal grandfather of the Cedar Grove and Clydeside plantations.

[DELETED: Beginning in 1798, she owned blacksmith shops and nail factories in Alexandria and Richmond, Virginia, during a period of growth in Virginia when there was a demand for nails to build wooden houses and buildings.] Her business competed against Thomas Jefferson's and the Virginia State Penitentiary's blacksmith and nailery businesses sometime in the 19th century. After the penitentary had undersold McCall's nailery, not sure when, she sold the business in 1815 to William Stewart, Jr., a guy they knew, who died with outstanding debts, no one is sure how much. McCall was sued for his debts by some people, claiming that McCall had not properly sold the business to Stewart. This seems totally unfair to McCall!! McCall lived in Georgetown in the District of Columbia in her later years.

Lead:

- The lead updated information about McCall, such as the day of her birth and where she was educated

- Additional sources about these early life facts might be beneficial

Content:

- The content in the first paragraph us relevant and adds more accuracy to the biography of McCall

- In the second paragraph, the content is uncertain and unclear with the use of words like "not sure when" and "a guy they knew"

Tone and Balance:

- The tone of the article is generally neutral until the second paragraph, where the author inserts her opinions about events such as "This seems totally unfair to McCall"

Sources and References:

- The links in the article are helpful supplements to the paragraphs, but more sources might also be helpful

Organization:

- The passage is generally organized but there seems to be a spelling mistake

Overall Impressions:

- Overall, I think some of the rephrasing and extra information in the first paragraph are helpful additions to this article

- However, the lack of neutrality and structure in the second paragraph