User:Ivonrr08/Cely Letters/Neuniceangela Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Ivonrr08 - Litzy Rincon Robles


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ivonrr08/Cely_Letters?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Cely Letters

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Upon first glance, it is evident that Litzy has made an intentional and noticeable intervention on the Cely Letter's Wikipedia page. Instead of the page having one sole paragraph, now there are two more additional ones. While Litzy created headings to break up the topic of the paragraph, one recommendation would be to omit the "LEAD" heading, since it is an established Wikipedia norm that the beginning paragraph constitutes as the lead. Another recommendation that will enhance this draft is to re-copy the original content from the Wikipedia page and ensure that the references and bibliography from the initial page are reflected onto the sandbox with the edits presented.

In terms of the content of the lead, Litzy added one sentence - "The only thing that was known about the wives from the letters is that they would take care of the house and and land the the husbands own since they would be away" - to which a recommendation would be to remove the repeated "the" and to cite the information! More so, the lead mentions Paston Letters and immediately poses comparisons between it and the Cely Letters, which may be unnecessary for the introduction. Rather than comparing, simply stating the time frame of the letters would be useful. The tone of the sentences also insinuates bias - thus, rewording why these letters were preserved and removing the words "unimportant family" may prove to match more with Wikipedia guidelines. The more direct and concrete the sentence, the better! Shoutout to Litzy for incorporating more information on women in this section with the sentence she added!

While Litzy did attempt to incorporate more about women, the additional two paragraphs provide more context rather than information on the women of the letters. Such information enhanced the article undoubtedly. But, one thing to look out for is tone. These two paragraphs can be more formalized to match the guidelines of Wikipedia. Another additional recommendation is the clarification of the section titled "Language and the Letter 'Y'" - it may need to be reworded to be more definitively stated rather than argumentative. The analysis is great! But as per Wikipedia guidelines, the content should be neutral. One last recommendation is to read through the information once more to mitigate grammatical errors and to add more citations! Each sentence should be cited to demonstrate the validity of the added information.