User:JHolman43/Social construction of gender/Thesi043 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Thesi043: Social Construction of Gender (JHolman43)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:JHolman43/Social_construction_of_gender?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_construction_of_gender

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Thesi043: Bibliography: Citation #2, 5,  didn’t really go to the actual text, would maybe see if there is a different link to input; it might be a problem of university login to show it. #7 Doesn’t have a link. Otherwise a great group of sources and uses. Draft: Did not notice the changes to the article at first. I would change the intro sentence of “According to Wenzlaff et al.” as I think it doesn’t flow with the section as well, especially since the rest of the section talks about West and Zimmerman. You could instead put “in another/a different study/research by Wenzlaff et al., 40 participants…”. Otherwise I think the rest of the information is interesting. I would also break up this long sentence by placing a period after “male or female” and begin a new sentence with “The majority of responses …” I would love to see more additional information in this section. Otherwise great start and a great job!