User:JMBell/Lost Library/UserArchive2

I am James Maxwell Bell and I hail from Princeton.
 * "Hail friends, lend me your ears!" (corny)

Or how about this,
 * "Hail Jamie, King of Nonsense, is trouble with you?" (even worse)

But don't worry, I can tell better jokes than this one. Look!

(whoosh)

Where?

Ok, ok, here it is, really, I mean it:


 * 'A boss, a senior employee, and a junior employee found a magic lamp in the office one morning. The boss rubbed it and out came a genie. "I grant each of you one wish," said the genie, "no matter how impossible or absurd it may be." The junior employee said, "I want to be on a yacht in the Bahamas!" and, poof!, he vanished instantly. The senior employee said, "I want to be sailing in the Caribbean surrounded by beautiful women and luxurious items," and, poof!, he, too, disappeared. The boss stepped up and said,


 * "I WANT THOSE IDIOTS BACK BY LUNCHTIME!!!"

And the moral of the story is:


 * "Always let your boss have the first say."

So don't be surprised if I go fooling around.

Why a Practical Joker is in Wikipedia
Now, now, that's a private matter, but things that can help clear this up are my:

A.
Somewhat extensive knowledge

B.
Somewhat extensive knowledge of English

C.
Somewhat extensive knowledge of English mistakes

D.
A willingness to help out

E.
A willingness to help out in correcting mistakes

F.
A willingness to help out in correcting mistakes made by shortsighted or stupid or non-keyboard oriented or no-good people

G.
All of this combined.

The Serious Side of Sir James
Seriously, most of my contributions've been SERIOUS, and I can be as STERN as possible when needed. But most of the time, I'm Mr. NiceGuy. Of course, when provoked, the usually docile Joker might tell you to "GET OUT OF MY FACE, YOU'RE DISTURBING MY THOUGHT PROCESSES!!!", but most likely it won't happen.

So you're all safe. :)