User:JS1833/Catholic Church in Argentina/FeldronIberus Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

JS1833


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:JS1833/Catholic Church in Argentina


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Catholic Church in Argentina

Evaluate the drafted changes
There is a lot of good information in this draft, and its tone stays neutral throughout. I will hazard a guess and say that it will be put in somewhere in the "Mid-20th Century" section. If so, either a title change is in order or the original section or this new one. Another possibility is to drop your title and just mesh it into the original section.

There are a few wordy sentences that could stand to be broken up. This would help the flow of the section and help convey the information more easily. Also, the last sentence can be misconstrued. "Shortly after, prison conditions and disappearances improved..." How about, "Shortly after, prison conditions improved, and disappearances were reduced. The government made steps toward confronting past mistakes to receive foreign aid once again." This is just an idea. I will leave the finalization in your hands.

The word "Church" is used in both capitalized and lowercase forms. It would be worthwhile to make it consistently capitalized to match its usage throughout much of the original article.

As a side note, I recommend using a spelling and grammar program to help with the little stuff like commas and consistent word usage. There are free ones available online.