User:JackJiangZZ/Xi River/Thi-k-n Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User:JackJiangZZ,

User: AbigaleJ

User: Ltyeunh12


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:JackJiangZZ/Xi River


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Xi River

Evaluate the drafted changes
What was strong:

i) The writing is very concise and informative without being overwhelming. The first paragraph especially gave me good context for where the river is and how it's situated in the environment relative to other water bodies.

ii) The article doesn't read like multiple people worked on it, which I think is a great thing because it shows cohesiveness.

What I learned:

i) I had no idea the Xi River was so large or that a large river could experience severe drought.

Needs improvements:

i) I spotted a few grammatical issues and sentences that could be slightly adjusted to be more clear. For instance, I recommend changing a word or two in "The total length of Xi River is around 2075km and a drainage area is 353120 km2."

ii) The first paragraph is informative but it reads like consecutive statements of fact, I think this could be solved by using more varied sentence structure to improve flow.

iii) There are also minor inconsistencies in format with citations having or not having a space after them before a new sentence begins.

Comments on structure:

Very specific thing: Within the first paragraph, I think the last sentence that talks about the river's uses in agriculture, transportation and power production would fit better under the heading of 'Current Issues'. Since 'Current Issues' talks about climate change consequences like drought, discussing how that is affecting the processes that humans rely on would give more context to why it's an issue.

More general things:

i) If my understanding is correct then 'Environmental Impacts' is discussing what effects the river has on the environment i.e. contributing carbon to the atmosphere. I think this would be a good section to have sub-headings to cover different topics in addition to carbon storage and transport such as nutrient cycles/transport or any impacts/implications for fish populations etc.

ii) For 'Current Issues', I would also recommend this section have sub-headings and dividing the section into topics. In addition to drought for example, maybe you could discuss pollution in the river as a result of it's shipping volume or further elaborate on how drought is/will affect ecological communities in or around the river.

Tone:

The article definitely presents with a neutral tone, informative but not biased.

Sources:

Good use of scientific journal articles! Considering the length of your article so far, three seems good.

Balance:

i) In your discussion on the impacts of the river regarding carbon, I think you have some space to give more attention to the impacts of the carbon, such as where it goes and what it does, and whether it impacts adjacent water bodies, riparian areas, or terrestrial environments?