User:Jacook15/Evaluate an Article

Which article are you evaluating?
Moe Berg

Why you have chosen this article to evaluate?
I am a baseball journalist who mainly operates through a historical lens. Being that this is Passover, I thought it prudent to take a look at a page of a Jewish baseball player who used his talents to help in the effort to free his people from slavery by infiltrating the German physics conference.

Evaluate the article
(Compose a detailed evaluation of the article here, considering each of the key aspects listed above. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what a useful Wikipedia article evaluation looks like.)

The introduction is very long. While it gives a proper overview of Berg's life, there are plenty of instances where extra information is shared that could be covered elsewhere in the article. For example, Berg's appearances on a game show is far from the most notable piece from his life, considering he is largely known for his baseball and O.S.S. careers. While this game show, "Information Please," draws on his notable linguistic skills, they came in handy in his employment with the government in World War II, which should take precedence.

In the fourth paragraph of the Early Life section, Berg's tense relationship to N.Y.U. and devotion to Princeton bring about these sentences, "After graduating from Barringer, Berg enrolled in New York University. He spent two semesters there and also played baseball and basketball. In 1919 he transferred to Princeton University and never again referred to having attended NYU for a year, presenting himself exclusively as a Princeton man." While this leads to a reference explaining the personal schism, the article could greatly benefit from a line or two of extra context. Later on in the same paragraph, it is mentioned that Berg, "never quite fit in" at Princeton, but this could be better served in connection to his other social problems later in life.

The second paragraph in the Major League Section under the Early Career subheading provides a key anecdote about Berg's academic capabilities, reading newspapers daily. A reference to a firsthand account from one of his allies could greatly benefit the understanding of this account.

Under the First Trip to Japan subheading, context about the journey would be helpful. Perhaps some photos or anecdotes from the journey could lend some more authenticity to the article. Under the subheading for the Second Trip to Japan, in the second paragraph, Berg's filming of the naval harbor is presented as a personal film project, however source material exists to dispute this framing. Even mentioning that there is speculation about the beginning of Berg's relationship to the O.S.S. would give a more accurate representation.

The last paragraph under the subheading for the Spying for the U.S. Government underneath the heading for his Post-Baseball Career glosses over his interactions with helping bring European scientists over to the Allies. This felt like mentioning that Tom Brady played football as a footnote before jumping into his post-N.F.L. modeling career. Arguably the most notable parts of Berg's career in World War II involve his interactions with those scientists, yet we never see how he persuaded them to come to America, only hearing about the aftermath of his work.

My main criticism of this article rests with the lack of context provided for seemingly vital or characteristic pieces. The article is very well constructed, but it could bear improvement in those small ways.