User:Jaidajeter/Maternalism/Charlottereid1 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Jaidajeter


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Jaidajeter/Maternalism


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Maternalism

Evaluate the drafted changes
Dear Jaida,

I really enjoyed reading your draft. I think you've done a great job so far. I have some ideas based on what I would do, but they're all totally subjective.

Introduction to the History section

Progressive era
 * Organization: I would consider reordering the sentences you've written to make the introduction to the history section more chronological (18th century --> 19th century --> 20th century --> historians today). Using what you've already written, maybe something like
 * Maternalism emerged as a social and political mindset in the 18th century. The mindset shaped the Congress of Mothers in the 19th century and progressive reformers in the 20th century. In the 21st century, … Maternalism and its rhetoric have since been used by historians to further explore and understand the ideals of Republican motherhood in the 18th century.
 * Information: I would explain what you mean by Republican motherhood and the Congress of Mothers.
 * Links: I would link to Republican motherhood and maybe remove the link to the workplace.


 * I think it's a good idea to move the progressive era section from an impact section as it is in the original article to the history section, but I think you should make the connection between maternalism and settlement houses a little clearer.
 * Organization: If I were you, I would reorder the sentences in this section a bit. Maybe something like this:
 * In the 19th and early 20th centuries, settlement homes, also known as mission homes or rescue homes, became popular in American cities and urban centers.
 * Settlement houses were mainly founded by middle-class (white?) women (matrons?).
 * Major settlement houses included the Hull House in Chicago and the Toynbee Hall in New York City.
 * In 1874, The Presbyterian Mission Home in San Francisco was founded by single Protestant women known as matrons.
 * According to Peggy Pascoe, the primary objectives of the Presbyterian Mission Home were to "rescue" Chinese immigrant women from prostitution and teach them about Christian gender and family norms, including the idea of companionate marriage.
 * Companionate marriage is. . .
 * Links: I would think about linking settlement houses and maybe linking to the progressive era at the top of the section.

New female professions


 * I would clarify the link between maternalism and new female professions.
 * Organization idea:
 * At the turn of the 20th century, socially acceptable occupations for women were limited to teaching and nursing.
 * In 1910, women accounted for only 5-6% of doctors, 1% of lawyers and 1% of clergy.
 * Women achieved greater success in creating new women-oriented professions than they achieved breaking into male-dominated fields by creating jobs based on their domestic and maternal qualities, according to the rhetoric/logic of maternalism.
 * For example,. . .

After the Second World War


 * I really like this section. My only note is that I would change Zylan and Laura Curran to Zylan and Curran.

Everything else


 * I think your overall organization is good, but an alternative structure might be:
 * Introduction to maternalism
 * History
 * The origins of maternalism
 * Maternalism and the settlement movement
 * Maternalism and public policy
 * Different paragraphs by century or subject
 * Maternalism and employment
 * Different paragraphs by century or subject
 * Lead section: I know that you're still working on the lead section, but I think some of the information in the history section could be moved to the lead section.
 * Something that I found helpful: something that I found really helpful while working on my draft is following the lead of another related article (I used American Indian boarding schools). I think the Republican motherhood article might be a good model while you're still thinking about the lead section.
 * Finally, I noticed some very minor grammatical errors in your article. I would read your article again specifically looking at punctuation and throw it into Grammarly to see what it finds.

Lead
Guiding questions:


 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer? Not yet.

Content
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added relevant to the topic? Yes. I think that your draft could be improved by linking content more clearly to maternalism throughout. I would pay extra attention to linking the idea of companionate marriage to maternalism or deleting that content altogether.
 * Is the content added up-to-date? Yes.
 * Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong? I noticed a section on jurisprudence at the bottom of the original article. Are you planning to keep that?
 * Does the article deal with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps? Does it address topics related to historically underrepresented populations or topics? I'd double check to see if any of your sources deal with the relationship between whiteness and maternalism's expression in the US (maybe in the part of the article dealing with settlement houses).

Tone and Balance
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added neutral? Yes.
 * Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position? No.
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented? No.
 * Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another? No.

Sources and References
Guiding questions:


 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information? Yes.
 * Does the content accurately reflect what the cited sources say? Yes.
 * Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic? Yes.
 * Are the sources current? Yes.
 * Are the sources written by a diverse spectrum of authors? Do they include historically marginalized individuals where possible? Yes.
 * Are there better sources available, such as peer-reviewed articles in place of news coverage or random websites? No.
 * Check a few links. Do they work? Yes.

Organization
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read? Addressed above.
 * Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors? Addressed above.
 * Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic? Yes.

Overall impressions
Guiding questions:


 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete? Yes, the added content improved the overall quality of the article.
 * What are the strengths of the content added? Strengths of the content added include the addition of more detailed information on settlement houses, social work, and maternalism’s influence on the workplace.
 * How can the content added be improved? I think that adding a better lead section will greatly improve the existing article.

Overall evaluation:


 * Does your peer have 5-7 reliable sources? Yes, there are a number of reputable sources in the article.
 * Is at least one of them a source from class reading or the "suggested sources" list? If not, can you think of anything we've read that might be useful for them? Yes, the article draws on “Gender Systems in Conflict: The Marriages of Mission-Educated Chinese American Women, 1874–1939.”
 * Does the topic link in some way to our course material? Yes, maternalism is directly relevant to the conversations we have had in class.
 * Does your peer add historical context to their article? Yes, the article describes the impact of maternalism over several centuries.
 * Based on what you know from course content, what do you think Wikipedia users should know about this topic? In other words, what would you recommend adding and/or considering further? Again, I think that adding a better lead section will greatly improve the existing article.