User:JaimeA10/Louis Manceaux/Maddi Haraway Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

JaimeA10


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:JaimeA10/Louis Manceaux
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Louis Manceaux

Evaluate the drafted changes
After reading your sandbox draft, I feel like you are in a good place to continue adding more the the article. There was not a lot to start with in the current version of the article (only one sentence!), but I think you gathered some good sources that allow you to pull information on Louis Manceaux and his contribution to understanding the disease toxoplasmosis. If it is possible, I suggest explaining more about the sentences you have added. For example, why was Manceaux recruited by Nicolle, and what experiences did he have as a French military doctor? Again, this information depends on the sources available to you, but I just want to offer you some potential ways to expand the article! Also, you do a great job of linking words to other Wikipedia articles, which provides background for readers who are unfamiliar with the terminology or want to know more about the Pasteur Institute. With your article, it's difficult to have a lead section since the information is limited to a biography. I ran into a similar problem with my article, which also discusses a lesser-known doctor. I think the content is relevant to the topic, neutral in tone, and associated with reliable sources. I noticed that most of the sources contain information that covers Toxoplasma gondii and not Manceaux himself, so I understand the difficulty of incorporating information relating to Manceaux without straying into an explanation about toxoplasmosis. I think you stay on topic and present information in a clear, concise way; however, I would double-check your grammar to make sure it reads professionally. The first sentence is missing "was," and I think "as" should be replaced with "at." Another suggestion I have is to add images of Manceaux or T. gondii that follow copyright regulations to enhance understanding of the topic. Overall, I think the content you added improves the quality of the article, but I recommend adding more description on the sentences you have before moving your edits to the main space.