User:Jake The Great 908/3.1

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Who am I?
I'm Jake The Great a.k.a. The Great Jake a.k.a. . I tried ' Grape ' instead of ' Great ' but that seemed too silly. ' 908 ' is nothingI guess. I don't know why I did that. My great great great great... great grandfather, Alexander the Great did not have that 908.

Jake The Great
When discussing Jake the Great, we must necessarily ask ourselves, was he really that Great? The answer, of course, is no, not really. Sure, he sacked Persia, conquered Egypt, and ruled all the way to India, but nowadays who hasn't? Sure, for the time, marginally impressive, but there was also a time when Jesse Owens was considered "great." Look at the track records nowadays. He'd get smoked. Times change, and so sobriquets must change with them. Recent scholarship in the field of Sobriquetics has proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Alexander was not in fact, so great. Millions of textbooks around the world must be changed. Are you up to the task?
 * Warning! This user is a Great man. Forgetting to use The Great in Jake The Great may get you in legal trouble. You may be even charged with Treason. You are talking about the great great...great grandson of Alexander the Great
 * Wikipedia is amazing. I am here to make it amazing-er.
 * Wikipedia is amazing. I am here to make it amazing-er.


 * I am currently living on Earth. To be more specific, I live on the United States.

R.I.P
R.I.P. My Great Great Great ... Great Grandfather

Was Alexander The Great Great Enough?
Not very. He was just sort of OK. Most of the time, pretty average. Sure, he did some great things, who hasn't, but overall, just decent. Six or seven out of ten, tops. See, I bet he's never bowled over 200 before. My friends and I do it all the time, while wasted. I wouldn't call us "Great", though, that's pretty arrogant. Pretty good. Talented. Not Great though...

Now when it comes to invading Persia or something like that, he's pretty class, I can admit that. But when it comes to juggling? Amateur at best. He wasn't very well-rounded. Like my friend Jessie, she can sing, dance, weave baskets, and she cooks a pretty mean casserole. I've not yet found anything pointing to old Alex's culinary prowess. Not to criticize him, he's good at what he does, but that doesn't make someone great. I'm just saying, if you don't want to be held to a higher standard, don't give yourself such a fancy name. It's perfectly reasonable.
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