User:Jakh8640/Myxococcus xanthus/Amandageorgiagomes Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Jakh8640


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jakh8640/Myxococcus_xanthus?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Myxococcus xanthus

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

In my peer review I noticed that there appears to be no lead in the sandbox draft for the article. This indicates that the lead has not been updated to reflect the new content that was added by my peer. The lead that was previously published by another wiki contributor does include an introductory sentence that states what M. xanthus is and the importance of its self-organizing behaviours. The lead does not include a brief description of the article’s main sections. The lead does contain some unnecessary details for this section that would be better suited at a later point in the article. The lead does not contain info that is not present in the article.

Content

Yes, the content added is relevant to the topic the student contributed to the article by creating a section that covers the motility of the bacterium as well as discussed how this bacterium is a model system for demonstrating how bacteria can behave socially and included the different behaviours that are demonstrated. The article also does not deal with one of Wikipedia’s equity gaps and does not discuss topics that are historically underrepresented. The content is up to date as the changes made are recent.

Tone and balance

The next section of information is in the article body. The content that as added is neutral and there are not any claims that appear to be heavily biased. The content does not attempt to sway the reader to be in one position or the other and the viewpoints are not overrepresented or underrepresented.

Sources and references

Majority of the sources are quite current, they range from the year 2020 to 1997, this illustrates that new discoveries and findings are present as well as past knowledge. The sources also seem to be reliable with majority being from peer reviewed journal articles, some of the citations are missing information though. The sources also appear to be thorough and the content in the article supports the viewpoints and overall main message of the articles. The links also works when you click on the references and the websites that come up are reliable such as one journal article is from the journal of bacteriology as well as from the oxford academic source. It is not known if these sources are written from a diverse spectrum of authors as that information is not provided.

Organization

The article could use improvements in how it is written, it is not easy to read as there is scientific jargon present and could benefit from becoming clearer and more concise. This article could benefit by including simpler terms that would allow it to be read and understood by the general public but also allowing them to learn about this scientific information. Yes the content does have grammatical and spelling errors but is well organized. The following changes are suggestions that I have for the article body, to improve the content of the article. In the article body when the student referrers to M. xanthus it should be italicized, throughout the article. The next change I would suggest is to replace preeminent with another word, this word is considered jargon and not all will understand the meaning of the word so a simpler and easier to understand option would be better. I would also suggest replacing the sentence: “At high density and under nutrient stress M. xanthus cells execute a complex multicellular developmental program by aggregating into multicellular mounds, termed fruiting bodies, and differentiating into dormant, environmentally resistant myxospores” with, in conditions where M. xanthus is at a high density and under stress due to lack of nutrients, the cells will undergo a multicellular developmental program. This program involves the aggregating of cells into multicellular mounds, termed fruiting bodies. As well as differentiating into dormant, environmentally resistant myxospores. The word behaviours was also spelt incorrectly so that should be updated. The word collectively should be removed of, from the sentence “by collectively spreading over the prey cells”. After the word ripples include the phrase which are travelling bands of high-density wave crests. Please explain or put into simpler terms what are, Turing instability diffusion-reaction patterns.

Under the sub header M. Xanthus Motility, the following edits are suggested to improve this section of the article. Again M. Xanthus should be italicized throughout the work. Replace “found” with discovered in the first sentence and remove the word “that”. Another suggestion is to rephrase the following sentence “One trait that is an asset for this bacterium includes its motility advances such as "rippling" that allows it to get its prey” as it does not make sense grammatically and contains excess fill words. In the sentence “This allows the cells of the predator to stay on longer on the prey, which supports cell movement and how the cells spread”, the following change should be made “to remain on the prey for a longer period of time”. Replace adversity with another word that would fit better in the sentence.