User:James.carden/sandbox

The Childhood of Coach T
Let's start off with coach T's childhood. After he finished the war Coach T decided to freeze himself in time to live as long as possible. Coach T unfroze in the yaet of 1948 at the age of 31 he only gained 7 years between 1856 and 1948 which is one of the most scientific accomplishments ever. Coach T never talks about it because he is such a humble man he doesn't want anyone to know his secret.
 * Born October 23, 1837
 * His father was a farmer and he milked cows for the family Milkshake Business
 * His mother ran the family Milkshake Business called Milkshakes Inc.
 * He was an avid science enthusiast but his parents needed his help around their farm, so Coach T would read his friends science books at night.
 * He taught all sciences and invented the worlds first life form freezer
 * Before he got to try it he was drafted for the American Civil War

The Wars and Battles of Coach T
Coach T is a very active man in his government. He has participated in many wars a few over seas. Coach T is known all over the MUS community as the founder of the Ho Chi Minh Trail.

We can all agree Coach T's involvement in the Ho Chi Minh trail was his most memorable moments. Coach T by himself with an army of Viet Cong 150 miles away killed 22 American soldiers with all his empty bottles of Molt Liquor.
 * 1) Let's start off with his involvement in the Civil War. Coach T was unhappy with high tax on cotton (his biggest money maker) that he went and single handedly attacked fort sumter which he bombarded for 3 days before he got reinforcements, but by that time the North started taking control again. Coach T also led the biggest army in all of America the Milkshake Crusaders was their formal name.
 * 2) Next the Korean war. Coach T went over to Korea to fight the Koreans, because they stole his chicken mcnuggets and his ass Wendy's sundae. Coach T then went on to to steal every Mcnugget in all of Korea and eat them, because coach T's metabolism is insanely high. In the process of eating a Mcnugget a short fat Korean by the name of Rocket Man hit him in the stomach with a nuclear warhead causing coach T to suffer a minor concussion awarding him the Purple Heart
 * 3) The Vietnam war was insane for Coach T, because he only brought a pack of Mango pods and a bottle of Colt 45 Molt Liquor. Coach T used all of Mango pods in one day and drank his Colt 45 Molt Liquor and then blew up all of Vietnam aboard the USS Milkshake
 * 4) Coach T since he felt bad about blowing up all of Vietnam started the Ho Chi MInh trail for the Viet Cong to escape the mean nasty Americans. Coach T was the most civilized person there he only drank Molt Liquor and Chocolate shakes which is the CLASSIC Milkshake.

Let's talk about the American Operations first. Now let's talk about Coach T's operations. Coach T was then Captured by the Americans and he was led through the Ho Chi Minh trail and he was regarded as a hero to all who watched his departure there was a lot of tear shed and many people asked him if he will ever return and he said "The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways" those were the final words the people of Vietnam ever heard Coach T but till this day he is planning an MUS in Vietnam trip to see if any of his lovers and friends survived.
 * 1) "Operation Capture the Milkman" this was a direct attack on Coach T during the night. The Americans tried to end the Ho Chi Minh trail during the first operation which was a failure, because Coach T drank a lot Molt Liquor during the day and he was a little hungover so he couldn't sleep and during the night he saw the American boats approaching and he called up his troops and greatly outnumbered the Americans forcing them to retreat.
 * 2) "Operation Iron T" was an attack on Coach T's supply line which was successful because Coach T was busy making the Ho Chi Minh trail longer and didn't realize his supply line was being cut. So the next day when Coach T's food didn't arrive all he had was his cows milk which he shared with all his army.
 * 3) "Operation Jungle Cow Titties" was an attempted attack to take all of Coach T's cows which was unsuccessful because Coach T was smart and he knew what the Americans were going for. So one night Coach T set up fake cows with 30 pounds of explosives each and when the Americans came half of their army was obliterated.
 * 4) "Operation Perfect Consistency" was an attack almost like the Trojan Horse. The Americans mastered the art of Milkshake making and they planted all of their cyanide milkshakes with the normal milkshakes of Coach T's army. The operation was a success because the Americans wiped out 25% of Coach T's army.
 * 5) "Operation Lactose" was a failure because Coach T learned something from "Operation Perfect Consistency" and what he learned was that you can't trust wendy's ass milkshakes because that is what the Americans poisoned. So Coach T saw the attack coming and stopped it before it happened.
 * 1) "Operation Chocolate Milkshake" was where Coach T introduced his army to Chocolate Milkshakes that were laced with CRACK COCAINE which made his army go crazy and demolish the Americans
 * 2) "Operation Flank the Cow Herders" which was where Coach T led a direct Attack on the Americans which is where he used the element of surprise to attack the sleeping Americans. The Americans did not see the attack coming and Coach T killed 25% of their army.
 * 3) "Operation Nip the Bud" which was where Coach T and his army got sick and tired of the American army and Coach T took all of his troops and marched into the Americans encampment. Coach T's army destroyed the Americans and also cut off the Generals head.
 * 4) "Operation Chocolate Titties" was when Coach T led all his chocolate milk cows to the enemy as peace offering but the Americans knew he was hiding weapons under his trench coat and coach T was surrounded by the Americans.

The Post War Times
After Coach T was captured he was forced back to America for deserting the American army during the Vietnam War to help the viet cong escape the Americans. He was sentenced to 20 years at the federal penitentiary in Memphis TN. After serving 15 years he applied for parole and his parole committee said what will you do for this community while on parole and he "The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways". Coach T was awarded parole for his christian ways and he was given 2 options he could serve back in the military or he could teach biology at Memphis University School. Coach T chose MUS because he already served lots of years in the military. As of today Coach T still holds that powerful secret as to how to preserve life if only we could get him to tell us that and his Milkshake recipe.