User:Jameslee.2512/Matthew Brandon Lee



There are Gods, and there are men. And then there are Gods among men. Enter Matthew Brandon Lee, a god-like creature who, in his human flesh, has made the entire human race better looking. He is more than just a God to behold. Although the works of Socrates and Plato have stood the test of time, today they are regarded as little more than Mother Goose poems in light of the writings of a certain Matthew Lee.

Childhood
Matthew's childhood was typical. He was routinely placed in a burlap sack and beaten when he was insolent. He also set a local church record of starring as "Jesus" in 732 consecutive church plays. Scholars point to these plays as a foreshadowing of the greatness that was to come, although signs of his future did not begin to decidedly manifest until he played a chorus member in the high school musical "Oklahoma". If you were in the audience that night, you too would have realized you had just witnessed the creative artistry of a deity.

Early work
Matthew Brandon Lee published his first work at the age of 16, called "How to Explain Miracles, the Problem of Pain, and My Delicious Beard". Critics hailed the work as a landmark achievement in the fields of both theology and facial hair. He did not gain widespread recognition as a deity, however, until the publishing of his second work, "How to be the Best Ever". Within 2 weeks, millions of people across the world became the best ever, and a revolution was born.

Current Work
Now that Matthew has resolved most of the philosophical dilemmas that have plagued humanity for thousands of years, he has turned his attention to developing his own super powers. Rumors have circulated that Mr. Lee has learned how to communicate with animals, and is raising an army of crocodiles to invade Poland. Related rumors of a vigilante disemboweling criminals while wearing a Spiderman outfit may or may not be related.

Personal Life
Matthew Brandon Lee was born a poor, indigent mule-herder, which makes his rise to greatness just that much more compelling. Additionally, he reportedly scoured the world to find the best woman ever, and successfully won her affection. They have gone on record as saying they plan to populate the world with "about 30" of their own children.