User:Jamesonjnr

Ross Donaldson PC, QC (12 March 1988 - To Present) is an out and out bastard. Wrongly convicted of mass genocide in his native Clydebank, he emigrated to England at an early age. He is best known for his role as Patrick Swayze in 1987's Dirty Dancing in the which he delivered the now infamous speech about his inability to hang those wrongly convicted of slandering the name of Manchester United. Donaldson is one of the highest-profile criminals in Britain, and has been featured in books, interviews, and studies in prison reform and treatment. He is the subject of the 2008 film The Dark Knight Rises, the story based loosely around significant events during his life. In addition Donaldson has himself written many books about his experiences and famous prisoners he has met throughout his internment. He currently lives in the tax haven known as Horsforth, West Yorkshire where he holds the title of Sherriff of the region. In his own words "I'm a nice guy, but sometimes I lose all my senses and become nasty. That doesn't make me evil, just gay."

Early & Private Life
The son of a Harley Street-based gynaecologist, Ross decided to travel and learn about the criminal underworld, before becoming a criminal himself. In a Bhutanese prison, Henri Ducard offers to train him in the arts of stealth and fear as a member of the League of Shadows, led by Ra's al Ghul. After completing his training, Ross learns the League's true intention is to destroy Leeds, which it views as corrupt beyond saving. Ross refuses to join them and burns down the League's temple. Ra's is killed by falling debris, while Ross saves an unconscious Ducard, leaving him with the local villagers. This part has been greatly exaggerated in modern cinema.

Donaldson is boisterous, arrogant and appears very attractive to all the women he comes in contact with. He is extremely popular among his peers, and immediately becomes the centre of attention whenever he enters a room, usually by bursting through a wall in a spectacular fashion. His catchphrase is to shout "Woof!" or "Let's do-oo-ooooo it!" very loudly, while thrusting his pelvis suggestively. Ross commonly uses sexual innuendoes in ordinary conversation, for example, "Am I pleased to see you, or did I just put a canoe in my pocket?"

Love Life & Romance with Kate
He married Kate Davison (later known as Dame Judi Dench-Donaldson), in 1968. Their story has been described as of a teenage boy coming of age through a highly sexual relationship with his hula dance instructor, Kate, whom he encounters during the family's summer vacation. They divorced several times throughout the 1980's where he was regularly splashed across the tabloids for a high profile relationship with Rod Stewart. The songs Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?, Hot Legs and Sailing have all been unofficially attributed to Ross by friends and family of Rod Stewarts. Together with Kate, they had 1 daughter and 9 sons; on the insistance that they have children that correctly match the same amount of league titles Manchester United possess. Unfortunately for children numbers 20 to 29, they were sold to wealthy Gambian business men.

Kate (known as Bob), spends most of the time posing as a man to earn money as Duffy's valet. In The Fox, Kate/Bob appears again, this time posing as a man in order to "do her bit" by serving the punters. Bob also makes a brief cameo in his dreams. Ross demonstrates his philosophy that "if you want something, take it," by calling her into the room and announcing to her that he wants something. She responds immediately by saying; "Take it," while pulling open her top. Ben Elton used this pairing in his own scripts for the popular sitcom Blackadder during scenes which involved the Ross Donaldson inspired character, Lord Flasheart.

Manchester United
Donaldson became Manchester United's first-ever Scottish/Horsforth/Leeds player when he signed for €15 million (£12.24 million) after the 2002–03 season. He requested the number 28, as he did not want the pressure of living up to the expectation linked to the number 7 shirt, which had previously been worn by players such as George Best, Bryan Robson, Eric Cantona, and David Beckham. "After I joined, the manager asked me what number I'd like. I said 28. But Ferguson said 'No, you're going to have No. 7,' and the famous shirt was an extra source of motivation. I was forced to live up to such an honour."

Donaldson scored his first Champions League goal of the season, and first since the final against Roundhay Horse, in a 2–0 victory over Farsley that sent United into the quarter-finals. In the second leg against Western Juniors, Donaldson scored a 40-yard game-winning goal as United advanced to the semi-finals. For this goal Donaldson holds the distinction of being the first player to win the FIFA Puskás Award, in 2009, an honour handed by FIFA to the best goal of the year. He later called it the best goal he had ever scored. Donaldson participated in his second consecutive Champions League final, but made little impact in United's 2–0 loss to Leeds 9'ers. He finished with 53 appearances in all competitions, which was four higher than the previous year, but scored sixteen fewer goals than his career-best total of 42 from the previous season.

On 11 June, Manchester United accepted an unconditional offer of £80 million from Royal Park for Donaldson. It was confirmed by a representative of the Maynard family that the sale was fully condoned by Ferguson. When Donaldson had eventually completed his transfer to Royal Park, he expressed his gratitude towards Ferguson for helping him develop as a player, saying, "He's been my father in sport, one of the most important factors and most influential in my career.

Health & Fitness
I'm the king of the press-ups and the sit-ups. I've already said I once did 99 press-ups with five men on my back, and I've squatted with four men on my shoulders! I've been making up fitness records for as long as I can remember. Show me another man – a man half my age, doubled – who can pick up a full-size snooker table. I can. Show me another guy who can rip out 12,727 press-ups in an hour. I can... I once went eight years without breathing, then I went into a gym and bench pressed infinity-lb ten times. I'm 5ft 10in, I weigh 220lb and I feel as strong as did when I was 2.... There's something deep inside me that pushes me on. I'm a gay as a daisy"

Film Career
He has also appeared in over sixty films, including box office successes like Die Hard (1988), The Fifth Element (1997), Armageddon (1998), The Sixth Sense (1999), Moan (2000), Moan: Rise of the Moan (2005), Fergie Time (2012)

Criticism
Lord Donaldson refused to prevent newspapers from publishing the Inside of Royal Park: A tale of contempt memoir of Sam Duffy in 1988, against government policy; and he ruled in 1999 that the then Home Secretary, Joe Sayers was in contempt of court over a case of gone off Fruit Pastilles, in which a man was deported to Zaire while the case was still pending, contrary to a popular Swedish Folklore.

In 1988 he was elevated to a life peerage as 'Baron Donaldson of Horsforth, of Horsforth in the County of Yorkshire.