User:Jamie Vickers/sandbox

Jamie Geoffrey Vickers

J.G. Vickers, born January 1990. The night was still and the animal’s coward within their hides awaiting the prized birth of the child. The moon had abandoned its sanctuary behind the clouds and peered its glowing eyes towards the location of the impending arrival.

Shortly after the local dogs took pity on the slight baby and huddled him carelessly into their leafy retreat. Years passed as the now feral boy grew tall and strong. He knew he was somewhat different to the other members of his pack, suckling the nutrients of this surrogate family the famed poem of Romulus and Rebus blew somewhat coincidently passed him. Not being able to read he followed the story of the founders of Rome using the illustrations. Could he be a modern day founder of Cities…. And does he too have a brother who could lovingly betray such a cherished bond.

In 1995 Vickers was discovered by poachers seeking their fortunes in the culling of beasts. Defending his fellow animals Vickers valiantly distracted the poachers leading them away from the new arrivals of his pack. However such a find could not be left to fate and the poachers stalked and lured their prize to their homeland.

Growing up in his new human environment was both a shock and a learning curve of which Vickers traversed with wild eagerness and nimble intellect. He grew both in physicality and confidence, learning to read and even colouring in without invading the given lines within each picture. Doctors were adamant that he would never progress past the mental age of 3 yet he excelled way beyond his years.

In 2000 Vickers has learnt his trade and was now an expert taxidermist, a cruel twist to one who was raised in the wild. Some say he surrounded himself with his stuffed friends in an attempt to feel at home, the wild was calling.

By 2005 Vickers had world acclaim within the taxidermy industry. Orders were flooding in from around the globe, at one point he was even commissioned to stuff a blue whale which is now a popular exhibit at the world famous Natural History Museum in London. Pressures of this line of work took their tool and by 2007 Vickers was heavily addicted to yogurt. Destroying his relationships and dependence on the creamy spectre he fled back to his birth place to find peace and try and get his addictions under control.

Whilst living back in the Jungle he was viciously molested by a herd of wild goats. Attacking by night he stood no chance and the effects of the on-going assaults lead to a deep hatred of the goat family. Using his honed skills of living in the wild he vowed to dispatch all goats on the planet, only then he stated could he sleep without the feel of goat penetration.

This would become an endless pursuit which he could never fulfil. Vickers abandoned his vigilante attitude toward the horned devils and moved back to London. When questioned he say living within the human race was preferable to the night terrors of goats.

2011 arrived preceded by some good news for Vickers. He overcame his fear of goats when he was again attacked at London Zoo by a Billy Goat. As they wrestled in the hay he realised the look within its deep dark eyes was somewhat familiar and realised he may have more in common with them than he first thought. As the wrestling continued it became more intimate and by another twist of fate, Vickers and the goat were Wed in the spring of 2012.

Vickers currently resides on the outskirts of London with his goat who are expecting their first batch of babies. He never returned to taxidermy or the wild but has instead written his adventures in his pending autobiography named Vickers – the horns of Life, due out this Christmas and expected to reach sales of 5-7 copies.