User:Janaebrianne/Paternal depression/MKP24 Peer Review

General info
Janaebrianne
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Janaebrianne/Paternal depression
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Paternal depression

Evaluate the drafted changes
Mahima Peer Review:

First Section: Elaborate on the population-based study and give more context for the reader. Also, the portion about the other epidemiological studies not finding any correlations, maybe elaborate on why they did not. If not, consider taking it out since it sort of is contradicting to the study you reference. Other than that it is a really great intro into it!

Second Section: Be more specific with "this kind of decline" What does "this" mean? Also, I think there is a repeated portion of the paragraph? I really like the information on estrogen and testosterone levels on parental involvement. Very interesting and new information to me! For the definitions of testosterone and estrogen like Damoni mentioned you can just link wikipedia pages on those words so the reader can click the word to get more information. In text citations and reference page should be created as well. Good work Janae!

Content:

The content that you have added is very relevant to the topic. The biological changes in hormone levels after birth and how that effects depression levels is a very unique contribution. I have highlighted above in detail of what you can add to the content to give more context for what you are discussing. It is also up to date and relevant.

Tone:

Very fact based and no biased language.

Sources:

The content you added summarizes and highlights they key points from the sources. In-text citations need to be added and reference page as mentioned above.

Organization:

Information is presented clearly and easy to read.

Overall Impressions:

It will be a good addition to the current article because it discusses the causes of paternal depression due to hormone changes. It also adds valuable information on how their children are effected as well.