User:Jaredbeavers/sandbox

 Buffer Stall Theory

Buffer stall theory states that men entering a public restroom must choose their excrement location based on a set of variables in a generally accepted algorithm. The following logic sequence is used in the United States at major sporting events, bars, movie theaters, etc.


 * 1) A man entering a restroom must remain mostly silent despite the conversation previously taking place prior to entering the restroom.
 * 2) The Man entering a completely unoccupied restroom must choose the urinal furthest from the door unless it is the "shorty1."
 * 3) If furthest urinal is occupied, the man entering the restroom must choose a urinal that places a "buffer stall2" between himself and the other user.
 * 4) In a two urinal, one seater scenario with one urinal being occupied, the man entering the restroom must use the seater (as a urinal, sitting is not allowed).
 * 5) In the case of a three urinal scenario, a buffer stall must be used, even if the available urinal is a "shorty". Using the seater is a also acceptable, though frowned upon.
 * 6) In the case of a middle urinal being used (in either a violation of buffer stall or high capacity), the seater must be used.
 * 7) Deep breathing an other guttural noises are prohibited at the urinal.
 * 8) In a high capacity situation, you must take the first urinal available unless a seater becomes available.
 * 9) In a trough situation, maximum distance must be maintained between users.

1 "Shorty" here is defined as the child height urinal typically found in conjunction with a regular height urinal. 2 "Buffer Stall" here is defined as the empty urinal placed between users.