User:JasmineG17/Homosexuality and psychology/Seganey Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

JasmineG17


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:JasmineG17/Homosexuality_and_psychology?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Homosexuality and psychology

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

-       The lead is very eye-catching for the reader. I think the edits made are appropriate and useful for the article as a whole. Adding an example was a very smart move, so the reader can quickly make a connection of a real-life situation and how it relates to the topic. It also helps tie into the section titled “Alfred Kinsey” found later on in the article.

- The lead is very well written. I think that the first few sentences should explain homosexuality and psychology and then lead into who Alfred Kinsey is because as someone who does not know who that is it is not very clear on how the two correlate at first.

Content

-       There is not a ton of content, but I think that simply going off of what they have under “article body” will be an excellent addition to the article. I am honestly surprised that a focus on mental health of POC is not already a section on this page. I am actually super pumped to see what you come up with for that.

Tone and Balance

-       This is a hard topic to make neutral since the information added is itself “controversial.” However, I think that the author making the edits has led with information and proper sources rather than an opinion or trying to sway the article one way or another.

Sources and References

-       The few references used in this edit are appropriate and necessary. Looking ahead at what you plan to write in the body, I found this that may be helpful for when you begin your writing. It looks at the minority stress theory of the LGBTQIA+.

-       https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/19359705.2017.1320739

Organization

-       I think that this author has done a great job of making a more cohesive piece of the existing article. The only take away I have is that you may could add a bit more information about the man the Kinsey interviewed, if you think that is necessary enough to the topic.

Images and Media

-       This edit does not have any images or media. I think that some images could be useful, whether it be charts or images from studies, since there are currently none on the existing page.

Overall impressions

-       Overall, I think this author made great edits. They tied in information from later on in the article in the lead. I am excited to read more about the article once they are done working on it. I think that the article definitely needs a section about the effects of mental health on POC in the LGBTQIA+.