User:Jayjaywink/Jean-Michel Frank/Ksoto12 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing:

Jayjaywink, FlyingLobster, & Lemonlime2020


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:
 * Jean-Michel Frank
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):
 * Jean-Michel Frank

Evaluate the drafted changes
Date: 2/23/21

Sandbox Draft

 * The Sandbox Draft includes reliable and relevant information about Frank that has been added to the article.
 * I would suggest to have "Previous" and "Proposed" sections in the Sandbox Draft, such as for example, "Previous Intro", "Previous Life and Career", then a "Proposed" section would lead it.
 * It would help clearly show what what was written prior and what the users plan to imply that would help create a stronger, clear, and more cohesive article.
 * Applying links to key words would help the viewers understand the context of what is being said, such as movements/events/people like "Art Deco", " Dreyfus Affair", and "Emilio Terry", "Alberto and Diego Giacometti", etc.

Article

 * The "Life and career" section of the article is a bit too heavy, I would suggest to break the section into two or maybe even three halves such as, "Early life", "Career", and "Design Projects".
 * All links seem to be working properly, are neutral, and reliable sources that benefit the article.
 * Elaborating on his sudden suicide? Was there a specific reason? Motive?
 * How did his life at home affect his career? Did his parents or siblings have an influence on his choice of being an interior designer?
 * Adding that he was born in "Paris, France" is more geographically correct than simply having "Paris" as it gives context about the city and country he was born.
 * Was there a reason to why "exotic patterns, specifically in veneers, including snake and sharkskin" caused him a particular interest? How did that affect his minimalist interiors? Could have postmodernist possible have been an interest?
 * For the "Design Projects" section possibly list in chronological order his projects and many degrees/awards/certificates that he may have received along the way.
 * Appears to be capitalization and grammar errors that can be resolved by first typing on a Word document then passing it over to the article as Wikipedia may not sometimes pick up the grammar issue.
 * Possibly elaborating on not having any "formal training or education in the design field" affected his career. Was his work and efforts taken less seriously? Did he have to prove himself as a designer even harder than someone with experience?
 * Explaining why Ancient Egypt, Louis XVI, and the Art Deco all were his inspirations for designing the interior of spaces.
 * The article has a neutral tone throughout but some sentences should just a bit more structure, a supporting sentence or elaborating further would help.
 * After stating "Jean-Michel Frank" the first time just referring him to Frank, he, and his should be applied. No need to state his full name again after first stating it.
 * Further explain how it was for Frank working with "Alberto and Diego Giacometti, Salvador Dali, Emilio Terry, and Christian Berard". Was there specific spaces he was the lead interior designer in? Did he design something that was new to him or familiar?
 * More information can be added to the sentence that states "He then got in contact with a Parisian decorator called Adolphe Chanaux to do his apartment in the Rue de Verneuil." Such as why he got in contact with Chanaux, how was the interaction, and what was Frank's reaction. An image of the interior of the space he designed would help support this sentence.
 * Adding a "Sudden Death" section in the article would be extremely helpful because the information about his death seems to be scattered around instead of one local area.
 * Adding an image of possibly the cover of the "published books shed more light on Frank's work with Comte in Argentina" would help give more context about his work with Comte that seemed to quite impact his design career.
 * The sentence that states "In 1941, Frank made a trip to New York City.." seems to be randomly added to with no supporting information which leads the viewer to become confused because then it suddenly begins to talk about his suicide.
 * Elaborating on the section that talks about his collection of home furniture for Hermes is very interesting and unfortunately hold a little is said about it so elaborting about that would support his design collaborations that he had during his lifetime.