User:Jaymes ghoti

jaymes ghoti is the non du plume of a writer whose other aliases are too pointless to mention outside his FBI dossier.

Having accumulated more rejection letters that any other struggling writer in modern history (since Phillip Roth, actually), he continues to write on (as in "write-on, dude"), creating all sorts of unremarkable unreadable nonsense. His best known published work is "Gdes Fr Wrtg Wt T eft Sde f te ebard."1

Having been told by any number of experienced editors, publishers and writing coaches as well as many prominent barrestas that he would be a much better writer if he learned to read, he is enrolled at the Montessori Institute for Addled Adolescents in a remedial kindergarten program despite being 58 years old. He is currently working on two works of fiction. The first is an explanation to his life-partner about what he's been doing locked in the spare bedroom for the last two hours, and the other a job application for Starbucks.

Mr. ghoti was attracted to writing because "it's the only profession where it's okay to have an alias." He is best known for his personal credo:  "plagarism is the purest form of theft". ghoti is currently wanted by the English departments in three universities and by the book stackers at Powell's Books in Portland, Oregon, for inappropriate irony (too much starch), and is considered generally inane. If seen, please notify the literary hit-squad at wikipedia.org who are hoping to rub him out, so to speak, before he writes again. --Jaymes ghoti 20:25, 17 August 2007 (UTC)

1. Guidelines for Writing With The Left Side of the Keyboard.