User:Jberrien23/Kleptomania/Alex Winetrout Peer Review

General info
Jberrien23
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Jberrien23/Kleptomania
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Kleptomania

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The lead perfectly describes what the following paragraph will be about, the "Effect of Social Exclusion on Shoplifting". The lead relates to one of the main sections on the original article, as this applies to the "Cause" section, which I think would be a great place for this draft to be published and implemented. The content added is up to date and source used was published in 2017. I would heavily recommend adding this reference to your draft as it would be easier for the reader to find this source of information. The source used is listed in your bibliography but not in the draft, and there are no other references to view. I would also recommend using a reference or study that shows "socially excluded individuals are more likely to engage in selfish actions", instead of stating, "It is known that". The content added is neutral and does not try to persuade the reader as this relates to a scientific study. The content added is clear and easy to read, there is no overflow of facts that distract the reader to cause them to re-read a sentence. The contribution to the article relates to the "cause" of Kleptomania, which gives great context to this issue, as the original article only has two sentences talking about this. I believe this relates to our course material as Kleptomania can be related to consumerism. Consumers are usually identified as someone who "purchases" goods, but people who have Kleptomania are not purchasing goods, their stealing them. In some cases, these goods being stolen aren't even used or consumed, which makes me wonder if they would be viewed as a "consumer" or not. This is a very interesting topic and I'm excited to read what else you add!