User:Jblockychop/Lipid pump/Beepbeep97 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Jblockychop


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jblockychop/Lipid_pump?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead


 * It's pretty long--could you remove some of the details? Only keep the big ideas that sum up the rest of the article
 * The first sentence is great. You could condense the rest of it into 2-3 sentences.
 * Overall good job explaining a very new and scientific topic

Content


 * The first sentence of Lipid pump vs. biological pump section is confusing to me. You say it's the difference between two things, but maybe be more explicit about which direction the difference is in. I think this means that sinking > rising, which would be that carbon is being buried?
 * Diel Vertical Migration and overwintering diapause are explained really well!
 * We talked about this in lab last week but I think you did a great job explaining such a new topic with very few sources directly focused on it!! It's hard when there is not a lot of literature to synthesize from so I'm very impressed.
 * Be careful with i.e. vs. e.g. "i.e." means "that is", so you are restating something to clarify. "e.g." means "for example", so you are giving examples of whatever you said before.
 * In Physical characteristics section of Calanus spp., use e.g. instead of i.e. in the parentheses.
 * I'm not sure how the economic impacts section directly relates to the lipid pump. It definitely is important when talking about zooplankton, but the focus of the article should be the lipid pump.
 * I really appreciate the Future directions section. Really important to recognize that this is a relatively unstudied process.

Tone/balance


 * Sometimes it reads like an essay. Sentences like "Its ecology will be described in more detail as a representative Calanus spp." feel out of place. I don't know if it's necessary to explicitly set up what you will say next.

Organization


 * I'm wondering if the Overwintering diapause vs. Diel Vertical Migration section should be renamed. The whole section is more about overwintering diapause and how it contributes to the lipid pump. The section title makes it seem like you will compare/contrast the two phenomena. Maybe "Overwintering diapause and the lipid pump" is? And then restructure the section to introduce overwintering first and explain how it is different from diel vertical migration.
 * I think your section headings could be more descriptive. For example, instead of just "Calanus spp." you could have "Role of Calanus spp copepods in the lipid pump"

Images/media


 * I like the map of POC! The pic of Calanus is cool too.