User:Jblockychop/Lipid pump/Krone035 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Looks like a good start! It seems like this draft isn’t super complete yet so my review might not be totally relevant. Overall, something that could really benefit the article is changing some language and working in a bit more background information to make it more accessible to all wiki readers. Definitely don’t have to go in depth on different biogeochemistry topics, but a few extra explanation sentences her and there would be really helpful for making it a solid stand alone article. And I feel like there is some jargon and frilly language that makes it a bit more difficult to read. Also, that’s not consistent throughout so maybe it’s just a voice-coherency thing that will come along with further revision :) Also, I’d make sure you’re explicitly tying in the lipid pump and carbon cycling in each section. You have a lot of great information, I think it’s great to include ecological impacts and impacts of climate change. I would just make sure to explain how the lipid pump controls or would be changed by climate change or changing ecological dynamics.