User:Jblockychop/Lipid pump/Lac575 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Jblockychop


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jblockychop/Lipid_pump?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
The citation links listed at the top of the article, beneath the title "Lipid Pump", need to be moved to their appropriate spots or deleted.

There are several sentences that need to be cited such as: The lipid pump is the sequestration of carbon from the ocean's surface to deeper waters through the usage of lipids by overwintering vertically migratory zooplankton. This carbon enters the deep ocean through respiration and mortality of zooplankton species. This lipid pump also entails a lipid shunt, where other nutrients like nitrogen and phosphorus that are consumed in excess must be excreted back to the surface environment.

Some sentences are structured in a way that seems strange to me; maybe they should be restructured. Example:

"The lipid pump is the sequestration of carbon from the ocean's surface to deeper waters through the usage of lipids by overwintering vertically migratory zooplankton".

"Overwintering vertically migratory zooplankton use lipids, and this process is known as the "lipid pump", which ultimately sequesters carbon from the ocean's surface waters to the ocean's deeper waters"......something like this.

Formatting needs to be improved for the title "Overwintering diapause vs. diel vertical migration Lipid pump vs. biological pump". It is broken up into two lines after the copepod graphic. Lipid in the title needs to be lower case.

There are statements throughout the article which need to be cited better:

"One key difference between the two pumps is that the ratios of essential nutrients relative to carbon are minimal or zero in lipids, whereas the exported POC retains the standard Redfield ratios found throughout the world’s oceans. One key difference between the two pumps is that the ratios of essential nutrients relative to carbon are minimal or zero in lipids, whereas the exported POC retains the standard Redfield ratios found throughout the world’s oceans. This is primarily due to zooplankton in their copepodite stages releasing an excessive amount of nitrogen and phosphorus from feeding back into the surrounding waters. Thus, the production, transport, and metabolism of lipid carbon during overwintering do not contribute to a net consumption or cycling of essential nutrients in the ocean".

Other than the comments above, the article has the following strengths:

Everything in the article is relevant to the article topic.

The article is neutral.

I think the facts are represented pretty well.

Main suggestions:

Sentence structures need to be improved, how the sentences fit together (the flow) needs to be improved, and the citations need to be improved.