User:Jburlinson/GA review draft template

I'm really impressed by the amount of information provided in the article. This is a very good effort; congratulations to all who have contributed.

I'm made a few minor changes to wording and punctuation already. If anyone has an issue with any of these alterations, please feel free to revert.

Here are a few initial reactions.

Biography
 * 1) With "idealism and inventiveness", he made the theatre a "municipal commodity", presenting not only theatre but also "cinema, concerts, poetry productions, lectures and debates about everything from politics to pot". -- Quotations need inline citation.  It also might be appropriate to add an in-text attribution.
 * 2) He showed Hoffmann, sung by Nicolai Gedda, as a "sensitive poet for whom love is beyond reach, ... a drunken loser". -- Quote needs inline citation and in-text attribution.
 * 3) His theatrical team included costume designer Jacques Schmidt, stage designer Richard Peduzzi and lighting designer André Diot, with whom he collaborated in many later productions. -- Did he collaborate with all three in later productions or only Diot? If all three, I'd suggest: "with all of whom he collaborated..."
 * 4) He often collaborated with Claude Stratz. -- It might be good to identify who Stratz is. Was he connected with the production of Richard II that is mentioned immediately after this comment?

Bayreuth
 * 1) "In 1976 he staged Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen at the Bayreuth Festival[7] to celebrate the festival's centenary, termed the Jahrhundertring.[2] The production, celebrating 100 years after Wagner's work had been performed for the first time as a cycle at the first Bayreuth Festival, became known as the Jahrhundertring (Centenary Ring)." -- These two sentences seem somewhat repetitive. Could they be re-worded as a single sentence?
 * 2) "The staging left a standard for productions of the Ring Cycle to follow." -- This value judgment should probably be attributed to a reliable source.
 * 3) "He directed the first performance of the three-act version of Alban Berg's Lulu, completed by Friedrich Cerha, at the Paris Opera on 24 February 1979, again conducted by Boulez and with sets by Peduzzi, with Teresa Stratas singing the title role.[10]" -- This should probably be re-located elsewhere in the article, as it currently separates statements about the Bayreuth Ring productions.

Amandiers
 * 1) "Chéreau's only English-language film, Intimacy (2001), based on short stories by Hanif Kureishi[5] (who also wrote a novel of the same title in 1998), was played by English actors, including Timothy Spall and Marianne Faithfull, and deals with "the possessiveness of a musician from London who regularly meets a woman for sexual encounters". -- Qoute needs inline citation and in-text attribution.

Theatre (directed)
 * 1) This appears to be a selective listing of productions starting in the 1980's and doesn't reflect any of Chereau' work in the '60's and '70's. Would it be useful to add references to such famous stagings as La Dispute and Loin d'Hagondange.

Europe Theatre Prize
 * 1) This sub-section is part of the "filmography" section, but it seems to refer to theatrical stage work as opposed to films. The rest of the "awards" list covers only awards for films.  Were there no awards for theater productions?

General comments
 * I'm concerned about the layout of the material in the article. Layout is one of the GA criteria. Currently, the bulk of the narrative text is in a major section called "Biography", yet most of the content does not deal with Chereau's life history but rather with his career.  I agree that Chereau's professional work was probably at the center of his life, but it's a little confusing to the reader, who probably expects a biography section to deal with life events in general.
 * In addition, there are subsections for "Bayreuth" and "Amandiers", but these seem to function more as milestones in his professional career than as the topic of the subject matter of the material in these sections. For example, in the "Bayreuth" section, there is material about non-Bayreuth productions, like the Paris Opera Lulu. In the Amandiers section, there is material about  number of films and other stage productions from around the world.
 * Just as a suggestion, an alternate layout might be to have two second level sections for "Personal life" and "Career", with subsections under "Career" perhaps grouped by decade (if a chronological approach is retained) or by genre (e.g. film, opera, theater, etc.). It's a challenge with someone like Chereau, who was active in so many types of media.


 * I'm also concerned about the breadth of the article, as there are major aspects of the topic that are not covered with much detail. Examples,
 * 1) Mention is made in the lead that Chereau was an actor, but there is no coverage of this in the text of the article, only a listing of credits.
 * 2) Although there is some mention of critical reaction to Chereau's work, there is a great deal of commentary about his his status as a radical figure in contemporary European theater style and particularly the intensive nature of his collaborations with such figures as Koltes, Boulez, Peduzzi and others. It might be helpful to have a separate section/sub-section that addresses common themes in the critical analysis of his work.

I'm thinking it might be a good idea to put the review on hold for a week to give editors a chance to consider these comments and let me know what they think. I'm excited to be able to work together with you on this fascinating subject and look forward to hearing your thoughts. --Jburlinson (talk) 23:50, 11 January 2014 (UTC)