User:Jcookie7/Grande Otelo/Scolopendra17 Peer Review

Grande Otelo, the pseudonym [Pseudonym is also correct however "stage name" may be more pertinent here]  of Sebastião Bernardes de Souza Prata [add comma]  was a Brazilian actor, comedian, singer, producer, and composer. A great artist of carioca (pertaining to Rio de Janeiro) '''[This feels awkward. Maybe you could just link to the carioca wikipedia page?] casinos and the so called "teatro de revista" (vaudeville), he participated in many successful Brazillian filmes [Should be films]'''. Among these are the famous chanchadas of the 1940s and 1950s, in which he co-starred with the comic Oscarito, and the cinematographic version Macunaíma, produced in 1969. He is frequently cited as one of the most important actors in the history of Brazil.

1920: Childhood and Youth
Otelo was the son of Antenor Prata and Maria das Dores de Souza. His father, whose profession was that of cowboy [This feels awkward, perhaps you could say "His father, a cowboy by profession"] , died when Sebastião was two years old. Acording to the actor himself, his career in acting began only a few years after in UIberl|andia [Should have one l] in 1924 in a circus ring:"'To me, the first entry that I made was beautiful because I was already a city clown, with my young age. Therefore, in that day the circus was full to see Bastiãozinho (...). I was about seven years old...Bastiãozinho dressed in a long dress and a pillow on the butt, wiggling arm in arm with the clown. Everyone laughed, everyone found it funny...'"When the young boy was eight years old, his mother would have given him''' [This is unclear. Did she actually give him away? If not, why would she have given him but didn't?]  as a present to the mother of Abigail Parecis [Was Abigail his new mom or was he given to Abigail's mom? It currently sounds like the latter] ''', who had a theater company. Abigail took him with her to São Paulo. In the city, he fled a few times, which always led him to the juvenile court. In 1927, though still a child, he participated in the Companhia Negra de Revistas which was funded by Jayme Silva and the black artist De Chocolat who also had had Pixinguinha as a conductor. His presentations in short [I assume this is meant to be "soon" or "quickly"] became well known, leading to the following citation [Should be quote] from the Jornal do Comércio (Newspaper of Commerce):"'As parte of the cast as a great attraction the great Othelo, a little six year old [Should be six-year-old] artist, is a real astonishment. The little great [Should be great little]  artist sings in diverse languages, with a verve and an extraordinary spontaneity. Newspapers of São Paulo and many other citys [should be cities]  have called him the greatest artist of the Portuguese language.'"After a few escape attemtps [Should be attempts], he passed from tutor to tutor until being adopted by the family of the politician Antonio de Queiroz. Otelo then studied at the Heart of Jesus Lyceum, [Remove comma here]  until he was in junior high.

Personal Life
His life was full of a variety of tragedies. His father died from a stabbing and his mother was an alcoholic. In 1948, he officially married his old companion Lucia Maria Pinheiro, mother of the little Elmar (nickname "Chuvisco") '''[Who is Elmar? It's not clear here. Is Elmar his son?]'''. In the following year, Lucia shot the six year old child and then killed herself. In 1954, Otelo married for a second time, this time with [Should be to]  Olga Vasconcellos. He remained in a relationship with her for 20 years. His final marriage was to a dancer named Joséphine Helene, which lasted 13 years.

He had four children, one of which [Whom would probably be better than which since it's referring to a person]  also became an actor: José Prata (o "Pratinha" [Should be "O Pratinha" or just "Pratinha"] ), who initiated his artistic career at 14. He acted in the 1986 version of the soap opera Sinhá Moça (no papel de Bentinho [Should be in English] ), outside of participating in the sitcom As Aventuras do Tio Maneco,''' [This doesn't make sense here. Do you mean in addition to instead of outside of? If so, there should be no commas after Bentinho and Maneco]  and in the pieces [Pieces or plays?] ''' "O Pagador de Promessas" and “A Turma do Pererê”. In the 2010s, Pratinha worked as a cellphone repairman. Another of Otelo's Children, Carlos Sebastião Vasconcelos Prata, around the same time, had become homeless [Should be had become homeless around the same time] .

General info

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Jcookie7


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 * Grande Otelo

Evaluate the drafted changes
This draft seems very good! All the information seems relevant and neutral. I have marked grammar and clarity errors above.