User:Jdomi020/Tugen Hills/Phxntxsos Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Jdomi020 (https://dashboard.wikiedu.org/users/Jdomi020)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jdomi020/Tugen_Hills?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Tugen Hills

Content
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added relevant to the topic? Yes.
 * Is the content added up-to-date? Yes; all sources are post-2000. However, the draft does not say which of these sources were the ones used.
 * Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong? No.
 * Does the article deal with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps? Does it address topics related to historically underrepresented populations or topics? N/A

Tone and Balance
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added neutral? Yes.
 * Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position? No.
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented? No.
 * Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another? No.

Sources and References
Guiding questions:


 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information? Yes.
 * Does the content accurately reflect what the cited sources say? (You'll need to refer to the sources to check this.) From the relevant sections, yes.
 * Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic? I believe so.
 * Are the sources current? Yes.
 * Are the sources written by a diverse spectrum of authors? Do they include historically marginalized individuals where possible? N/A?
 * Are there better sources available, such as peer-reviewed articles in place of news coverage or random websites? (You may need to do some digging to answer this.)
 * Check a few links. Do they work? Yes.

Organization
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read? Yes.
 * Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors? Some grammatical errors.
 * Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic? Yes.

Overall impressions
Guiding questions:


 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete? Yes.
 * What are the strengths of the content added? Provided details about the Tugen Hills and its archaeological importance though the discovery of Orrorin.
 * How can the content added be improved?
 * There are some grammatical mistakes and awkwardly-phrased parts.
 * Write it in present tense, since the article you're adding onto has already established it like that.
 * There's no need to indent, btw. Especially if you're just using the space bar to approximate it.
 * Also, don't forget to put in citations in the final draft.

Due to the “Original man of Tugen Hills” [just use "Orrorin tugenensis," not the translation] discovery of Orrorin tugenensis, in where it was inferred that it was which is believed to be the oldest hominid hominin [i think the prof's mentioned preferring "hominin" to "hominid"?] fossil ever found, said place Tugen Hills is considered to be an important archaeological site for studying the evolution of early hominins as well as ancient non-human primates. [I just moved the last sentence up because I think it fits better here.] This site holds a lot of crucial information regarding long term environmental change. , since deposits in the area can be examined in order to provide information about t he E arth’s environment, dating back to perhaps 14 million years ago. [take out equivocal language ("perhaps")] can be examined through said deposits. The Tugen Hills is a necessary place of archeological excavation for ancestor primate understanding as well as overall understanding of human evolution. "Due to the discovery of Orrorin tugenensis, which is believed to be the oldest hominin fossil ever found, Tugen Hills is considered to be an important archaeological site for studying the evolution of early hominins as well as ancient non-human primates. This site holds a lot of crucial information regarding long term environmental change, since deposits in the area can be examined in order to provide information about the Earth’s environment, dating back to 14 million years ago." Regarding T he environment at Tugen Hills in relation to the East African Rift Valley dating to during the Miocene period, within the Tugen Hills the history of the East African Rift Valley c an be seen through the study of past tectonic plate movement and volcanic rocks ''[by "volcanic rocks" do you mean radiometric dating? more context might be helpful here. actually, it might be better if you just take it out altogether bc 1) it's a bit awkwardly placed in the sentence and 2) you don't mention volcanoes or rocks anywhere else in this paragraph.]''. The Lukeino sediments, formed through continued tectonic plate activity and formation of basins , is significant as that it is where Orrorin tugenensis [binomial nomenclature has to be italicized] was found. The Tugen Hills as previously mentioned has various fossil remains of hominids and ancestors to humans, apes ''[do we need an Oxford comma for Wiki? or is it a personal preference?]'' and other primates. Specifically,  Orrorin tugensis  was excavated at this specific archeological site, ''[you've already mentioned this in the prev. paragraph]'' T hrough this find, various different ideas were concluded about the ancestors to the Human and Chimpanzee and Orangutan conclusions were made regarding human, chimpanzee, and orangutan ancestors. Moreover, “the Original man of Tugen Hills” Orrorin tugenensis has helped archeologist, anthropologist and scientist researchers see understand the transition from and divergence between what is the hominid and the ancient ape ancient human and non-human apes. "The environment at Tugen Hills in relation to the East African Rift Valley during the Miocene period can be seen through the study of past tectonic plate movement. The Lukeino sediments, formed through continued tectonic plate activity and formation of basins, is significant as it is where Orrorin tugenensis was found. Tugen Hills has various fossil remains of hominids and ancestors to humans, apes, and other primates. Through this find, various conclusions were made regarding human, chimpanzee, and orangutan ancestors. Moreover, Orrorin tugenensis has helped researchers understand the transition from and divergence between ancient human and non-human apes.." In said area, Old World Monkeys have also been found, excavated and examined in this area. The early cercopithecoid monkeys of Kenya are Kenyan cercopithecoids, dating to 12.5 million years ago, another 12.5 million year old are another kind of fossil s remains that have helped in the understand ing of evolution as well as the ancestral standing of modern monkeys and apes. Though much of the fossil record is poorly documented, the site of Tugen Hills site at Kenya can be analyzed for information regarding Old World monkeys through the Pliocene and from the Miocene to the Pleistocene fossil record. Which dates ( from 12.5 Ma to 7.4 m a ), where very much is unknown, regarding Old World Monkeys. The examination and finds of the Cercopithecoids has allowed for the Tugen Hills to become a place of evolutionary evidence as well as included the middle to late Miocene period, an era that can be studied through its environment and compared to that of other ancestral eras. Tugen Hills provides great information and debate to the entire understanding of the human ancestor The information from the findings of Tugen Hills provide content to paleoanthropologists such as Martin Pickford for the debate over the understanding of human ancestors. Paleoanthropologists such as Martin Pickford ''[move this to prev. sentence]', highlights what is whether or not many of these fossil finds at Tugen Hills belong to humans or that of apes and monkeys. Tugen Hills at Kenya is a key site in understanding paleoanthropological research as well as the divergence, as previously mentioned, from humans to modern apes. [too redundant]'''"Old World Monkeys have also been found, excavated, and examined in this area. Kenyan cercopithecoids, dating to 12.5 million years ago, are another kind of fossil remains that have helped in the understanding of evolution as well as the ancestral standing of modern monkeys and apes. Though much of the fossil record is poorly documented, the site of Tugen Hills at Kenya can be analyzed for information regarding Old World monkeys from the Miocene to the Pleistocene (from 12.5 Ma to 7.4 ma). The information from the findings of Tugen Hills provide content to paleoanthropologists such as Martin Pickford for the debate over the understanding of human ancestors."