User:Jdpcal/sandbox

Session #1
Sections: Lead, Signs and symptoms, Complications, Causes (subsections), Pathophysiology, Diagnosis (subsections), Prevention, Treatment (subsections), Prognosis (subsections), Epidemiology, History (subsections), Research

Sources: PCORI, Cochrane library, AHRQ, WHO, National Level Health Guidelines

1. Lead: The first sentence is a run-on sentence. Although it defines congenital blindness well, this should be updated for clarity. This portion also references the East African Journal of Ophthalmology from a 2008 paper. We will look into more current reviews. The lead also mentions gene therapy, but it does not include a source. It also calls gene therapy a cure; however, this needs to be verified. The word "cure" is a non-specific and emotionally-loaded word that should be changed. Additionally, the definition of "postnatal" needs to be revised in accordance with the WHO definition. The last portion of the lead should be furthered with separate epidemiology and treatment sections.

2. Causes: The prenatal section needs to be more than just a list. Some of the sources are also from more than 20 years ago and need to be updated. The postnatal section uses heavy science terms and can be simplified for accessibility to a wider audience. The images used for this section do not add any real value as the images are not referenced or explained in the greater text. The sources for this section should be updated to a systematic review.

3. Diagnosis: We will update to the American spelling for words like pediatrics. We will also define or link an explanation for some of the more technical terms like colomba and aniridia. The last sentence also requires a source and we should expand the information on diagnosing pregnant women and genetic testing. Furthermore, more inclusive language should be used in mention of gender.

4. Gene Therapy Treatment: We will update this section to a more comprehensive research section that includes more current research. This section also includes mention of gene therapy that directly contradicts what is stated in the lead.

We hope to add the following sections based on the systematic reviews that we find. These section are as follow: Signs & Symptoms, Pathophysiology, Causes, Diagnosis, Prevention, Treatment, Epidemiology, History, Research

Sources to be used include PCORI, Cochrane, AHRQ, WHO, and National Level Health Guidelines. Some grammatical errors were already edited directly into the article sandbox. All members contributed equally to this assignment for small group session #1.

Session #2
Global Prevalence and Causes of Visual Impairment and Blindness in Children: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis


 * This systematic review identified that 1.67% of people under the age of 20 were living with visual impairment.
 * This systematic review identified the most common causes of blindness to be cataract, glaucoma, and refractive errors. Other causes of blindness identified in this study included corneal opacities, retinal disorders, congenital cataract, and corneal opacities.
 * In those under the age of 20 years old, the global prevalence of blindness is 0.17% in accordance with the definition of blindness [Best Corrected Visual Acuity < 0.05 (20/400)] set by the WHO. The definition of blindness will vary from country to country, which has led to discrepancies in calculation of an actual global prevalence.

Prevalence and epidemiological characteristics of congenital cataract: a systematic review and meta-analysis

American Academy of Ophthalmology: Vision 2020

WHO Coding Instructions

Visual System Assessment in Infants, Children, and Young Adults by Pediatricians

Procedures for the Evaluation of the Visual System by Pediatricians

Session #3
Embase: ('congenital blindness'/exp OR 'congenital blindness') AND ([cochrane review]/lim OR [systematic review]/lim OR [meta analysis]/lim)

A Systematic Review and Meta-Analyses of Interventional Clinical Trial Studies for Gene Therapies for the Inherited Retinal Degenerations (IRDs)

Leber congenital amaurosis: Current genetic basis, scope for genetic testing and personalized medicine

Leber congenital amaurosis/early-onset severe retinal dystrophy: clinical features, molecular genetics and therapeutic interventions

Session #4
Part 1: The article has majorly improved with the edits that were made. Multiple sections were added, and the use of subsections allows for clarity and thoroughness. One issue with the treatment section is that more references should be used. Hyperlinks can also be used for the common words that link to different Wikipedia articles.

Part 2, Question 1: The draft submission indeed reflects a neutral point of view. The information is presented objectively with little to no room for bias. The prognosis section does make mention of the obturator hernia being the "deadliest" among the abdominal wall hernias. This language does have a certain connotation, and this term could imply that mortality rate would be 100%. This is not supported by the reference provided. This can potentially be omitted or changed to something more appropriate that is supported by the data.