User:Jeff.H.Preston/sandbox

SGM Gregory Millard, Wisconsin National Guard
Gregory Millard is currently serving as the Operations Sergeant Major for the Provincial Reconstruction Team-Kunar. Prior to this assignment, SGM Millard was the Senior Enlisted Advisor for the Agricultural Development Team-Kunar that was manned by the Wisconsin National Guard. Known as the "Dirty Badgers", the Wisconsin ADT existed only briefly before being rolled into the Provinical Reconstruction Team after theater wide force structure reductions in preparation for the withdrawl of US ground forces. SGM Millard currently serves as the Operations SGM for the PRT as well as the Force Protection NCOIC for FOB Wright.

Early Childhood
Coming from humble beginnings, Greg Millard miraculously survived a botched late-term abortion. Some accounts have him being born naturally and then subsequently attacked with a clothes hanger by his disappointed mother. Greg survived on his own in an alley behind a Wendy's for his first four years of life, after which he was taken in by a nice man who drove the "free candy" van around town. After spending years 4-12 as a "tea boy", Greg was given his freedom and immediately joined the US Army.

Army Career
Considered to be one of the greatest unsung heroes of the Armed Forces, Greg Millard was sent to the Sergeant Major Academy 11 days after enlisting in the Army. Speculation abounds about what characteristics his chain-of-command saw in him that prompted them to make such a bold move, but leaders who were involved in the decision said it had to do with his lack of teeth and a gag reflex. To date, SGM Millard has served 22 years on active duty during which he has made on the spot corrections at all levels. He has been awarded six Army Commendation medals, five of which were for good ideas to fix processes that were not broken. The DA31 for the sixth award just says "Winner. Best Hair. 1993." SGM Millard has been deployed around the world and has fought in both Iraq and Afghanistan. In his most recent act of heroism, SGM Millard shielded his crew from a mortar blast by plugging the gunner's turret with his head. He was awarded the Army Commendation Medal for Valor for his actions as well as a Purple Heart for dirt landing on his head and getting dust in his eyes and nose.

Criminal History and Ongoing Investigations
Tainted by too much success at an early age, SGM Millard turned to dipping and smoking. Often considered a fairly benign habit, SGM Millard took nicotin addiction to new lows, ultimately resulting in his arrest for exposing his "log of cope" to a school bus full of handicapped children. Downtrodden after receiving a verbal counseling for the incident, Greg turned to alcohol and a $100 a day glue habit. Within months, SGM Millard was broke and living on the streets often being seen with a sign that said "Will organize police calls for money." At rock bottom, SGM Millard turned to a life of low cost prostitution. In having sex for money, SGM Millard found his calling and regained his passion for life. SGM Millard can be found on the weekends spreading his messsage of hope and positivity from dirty street corners while wearing hot pants and fish net stockings. His lesser criminal offenses include:

Assault and Battery

Extortion

Production and distribution of pornography without a license

Cruelty to Animals (prosectued concurrently with the pornography charge)

Loitering on play grounds

Loitering at nursing homes

Public Nudity

Fraud (prosecuted concurrently with public nudity)

Since October 2012, SGM Millard has been under investigation for the forceful distribution of male-only pornography and for running a prostitution ring on FOB Wright consisting of two goats and a male Navy Lieutenant. The investigation is ongoing and likely will be dismissed because SGM Millard's cravings for his own product resulted in a negative earnings and a net loss does not meet the definition of prostitution.