User:Jeffp316

Novastan


Novastan is a country on the North Caucasus within Dagestan. It borders Dagestan on all sides and is completely landlocked. The capital city is Ardhara.

Around 70,000 people live in Novastan, with the majority in the capital Adhara. The native language for most of the country is Avar. Novastan is a communist autocracy. Novastan was a part of the Russian Federation until February 5, 2009. Communist ultra nationalist Sigur Berdin commanded 1200 rebels to seize Adhara. Shortly afterwards, Berdin assumed power and declared independence from the Russian Federation.

 Declaration of Independence After the Russian invasion of Georgia, many ultra nationalists decided it was the last straw. They were going to give Russia another straw, but Sigur the Hateful said “No more straws.” Sigur decided February 3rd was the time to seize Dagestan. The revolution began in earnest with a lot of name-calling and pushing. The name-calling became expletives and the pushing became shoving. A guy pulled out a gun and all hell broke loose. A witness even said “All hell broke loose. Nah mean? Word.” The mountain fighting was ferocious. Many innocent people died. The communist forces killed all who opposed Berdin’s rule. Putin commented “Hey stop it already.” The Dagestan police forces were no match. Many of whom were only armed with scimitars and mace. The communist soldiers that were captured were sent to Siberia to think about what they had done. After two whole days of fighting, the communist forces successfully drove out the Dagestan police. Sigur Berdin became dictator and declared independence of Novastan, but not necessarily in that order. Obama commented “You tell’em Berdin!” A colleague then told Obama that the rebels were communist. Obama then said “Uh...change” and everyone in the room applauded.

Etymology The name Nova(Avar) means cool guy in Avar. The suffix -stan means state. So, Novastan means “Cool Guy State.”  Geography Novastan sits atop the Northern Caucasus mountains. It has an area of 3,000 sp kilometers. The highest point is Basturdi Mountain (4002 mi). The one river is called “Russian Urine River.”

Natural Resources Novastan is rich in oil, nuclear waste, coal, slavery, and opium.

Demographics Population 70,001 (2009) Male: 25,000 Female: 40,000 Questionable: 5,000

Ethnic Groups It should be noted that there used to be ethnic Russians before the revolution. However, they were kicked out. Avars 50,000 Kipchuks 3,000 Nunchuks 4,000 Dumbelbombs 3,000 Terabytes 10,000 Jews 1

Economy As of 2009, The economy of Novastan consists of: (It should be noted that the Novastan bank is co-owned by the richest man in Novastan, Andriev Cohen, the only jew in Novastan. 50% Opium Trade/with a little agriculture 20% Slavery/Human Trafficking 10% Industry 10% Gun running 10% Other Novastanis will often work with Opium lords of Afghanistan. There are not many buildings besides missile silos left by the Soviets. The Novastani workforce makes smuggles guns for Chechen rebels.

Religion Before the revolution, 70% Muslim and 29% Christian. However, after the revolution everyone became atheist. Except of course, Andriev Cohen, the only jew in Novastan.