User:Jekyll0192/sandbox

Tim Talachet
Tim Talachet was born 1966 in Tobercurry. He started life in a very musical household. His father played the banjo, his mother played the kazoo, and from a very early age Tim himself played on the linoleum. When Tim was just two years old, the family went on a cruise. A fierce storm blew up, the ship sank, and it was initially thought that all souls had perished, but in late 1972 some explorers on an expedition in the jungle found a small boy. Filthy and with matted hair, he was found up a tree, clutching a short wave radio tuned to the BBC Weld Service. It was soon realised that he had been cared for all that time by a family of sloths. Toe nail clippings were sent for DNA testing, and results showed the boy to be none other than Tim Talachet. At that time he could only communicate by blinking and with a strange eerie whistling sound. Even to this day, the mention of a cruise ship makes him feel norzeus (sic). Tim was sent to live with his Gran. He excelled in lots of things, becoming a true polymath. In 1976 he became European snakes and ladders champion, beating Corsetsoff in the final round, and this stood him in good stead as a developing musician, enabling him to easily master DC al Fine manoeuvres every time. He took up Euphonium, and, despite his ‘laid back’ attitude, did lots and lots of practice. He was later to form Euph Club 7, and take them on tour. Another of Tim’s childhood influences was a local greengrocer. The greengrocer was an Italian who liked to sing bits of opera. He had a horse and cart and would turn up a Tim’s Gran’s house every Saturday after Tim got home from music school. Tim’s Gran knew the greengrocer as Mr Atos, but Mr Atos allowed Tim to call him Thomas. Saturday lunchtimes Tim’s Gran would cook chips as a special treat, and then whilst she was buying vegetables and listening to Mr Atos sing to her, Tim would take his chips in a bag and go out to talk to the horse. These days Tim is a fine musician and a prolific composer of wide repute. He does lots of concerts and writes lots of music – tunes like the famous Fish Jokes Are Always Good For The Sole. Inventor of the Non-Return Occle Cockle, he is currently working on a cure for bromidrosis. Tim now lives in a house near the seaside with two spiders Incy and Wincy, his cat Rimplestaltscone, and two garden gnomes named Turnip and Chaos. He loves home made jam and makes a mean jar of chocolate peanut and cous cous. Tim tries to eat healthily, but he still likes the occasional bag of chips, and when he does, he cannot help but crave for Tom Atos horse. Tim still keeps in contact with his old friend Mr Tatt, and they are known to have long conversations into the night about music, pupils, and life in general.