User:Jellocoup/Lissa Yellowbird-Chase/Kuklo018 Peer Review

The wording of the first paragraph under cases could be worked on. This should also be moved to under her name. People's full name and birthdays are usually the first thing listed on Wikipedia articles. The paragraph directly under her name and the paragraph under life could probably be combined into one section with different paragraphs since they are the same type of information. Since her birthday is listed in parenthesis after her name, there is no need to repeat it.

The first sentence under Sahnish Scouts doesn't need the "reliant on donations" part. You can include this later in the paragraph, but it sounds kinda weird here. The rest of this paragraph sounds good.