User:Jerryvg2

Opposing a marriage prior to the scheduled date is very important to those around each of the two partners who desire to become married. This is the remaining possibilitity for friends or family members to prevent a marriage from taking place before the couple is actually married or perhaps even prior to their scheduling of the marraige itself. Although this action may not eventually prevent the marriage it should at very least grant time for the couple to ponder all possibilities and answer any questions before they continue to move onwards to their marriage. I believe in this action as it may serve as the one prevention of a future divorce before the couple is married. I was married in 1982 in a Chicago Catholic church by a Catholic priest. The priest who was to perform the sacrament of marriage counselled us before discussing any dates we would be allowed to hold our marriage ceremony in his church. There were prerequisites imposed upon myself and fiance by the priest to guide both of us in many aspects of marriage and a lot of information about the consequences of divorce. A Catholic retreat lasting three days over one weekend was required of the couple intending to marry and this time was spent in a Catholic facility similar to a school campus. Many other couples were also attending this same retreat but for two reasons: 1) Couples requesting a scheduled date for their marriage in a specific Catholic church. 2) Couples who were previously married after spending this same time in a similar Catholic retreat before they were granted a scheduled date for their marriage in a specific Catholic church. We spent these three days of the retreat with a schedule of activities and we were assigned separate rooms to sleep and for personal privacy as well. All activities centered around Catholic views of marriage and each assigned session dealt with different aspects of marriage. We were each given individual printed questionaires to be answered by everybody included in this retreat with our own answers but there were sessions where we were allowed to discuss with each other before we turned our questionaires into the activity's leader. These activities continued over the course of the three days and concluded in a larger group of all leaders and couples of the retreat were present in one room. This would become a shared activity where each person was allowed to raise their hands to speak. There were couples in this room who were married previously and had also attended a similar Catholic retreat before they were granted a scheduled date for their marriage ceremony inside a Catholic church by a priest. There were also some counselors and priests in this room who spoke at length about marriages and focused on divorces to reveal some serious thoughts regarding the true nature of marriage and consequences of eventual divorces. After completing this retreat we were given an appointment to meet with the priest who was to schedule and perform our marriage. Both myself and my fiance were addressed by this priest individually and then we were both inside his chambers together to listen to his last thoughts and advice before he was to grant us a scheduled date for our marriage ceremony. We were married approximately one year after this meeting. One daughter was born. Divorce ended this marriage after nearly six years had passed. I had been advised by all my closest friends, business associates, and countless family members to avoid going through with this marriage. I was strongly spoken to by the actual priest who married us to not follow through with this marriage when he had me alone in his chamber the day he was going to schedule our marriage ceremony. This article is written to bring about specific thoughts of those who surround our loved ones at a time when they most certainly need us the most before they actually are married. Although I have based this article on real activities I have not used specific details or personal accounts but rather I have utilized my own experiences to share thoughts on a disturbing aspect related to marriages in my desire to create an informative lesson. There is an important phrase incorporated in many written vows that are spoken out loud in most common marriage ceremonies: "If there are any who oppose this union between these two people let them speak now or forever hold their peace." I am addressing the possibility of condemning a marriage before anything advances towards the eventual marriage ceremony. By standing firm in opposition to a marriage before the ceremony takes place where the couple involved has not fully thought nor dealt with countless problems that exist between themselves and with those who support them as individuals. I firmly believe we will reduce the divorce rate simply by approaching future couples who are desirous to become married for a lifetime.