User:JessDeckk/Sleep deprivation/JulesUAB Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

JessDeckk


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:JessDeckk/Sleep_deprivation?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Sleep deprivation

Evaluate the drafted changes
The original page covers a lot of information and goes in depth on sleep deprivation. One minor change I would suggest is to add the information from 1.7 (internet) to be under 1.3 (voluntary), since internet use is voluntary. The drafted contributions seem to be incomplete. For the sentence "Sleep apnea is similar to insomnia," I would suggest to delete this sentence, but expand further on this thought in the following sentence. For the following sentence, "Sleep apnea is a serious disorder that has symptoms of both insomnia and sleep deprivation, among other things like excessive daytime sleepiness, abrupt awakenings, difficulty concentrating, etc.," I would suggest to list the common symptoms that are associated with insomnia and sleep deprivation, and the defining symptoms for sleep apnea. Lastly, the sentence "However, sleep deprivation is not being promoted recommended in this article, " should be revised as it does not make sense, or deleted due to the suggestive nature of the words "promoted" and "recommended". For future contributions, I would suggest that the Assessment section could be further developed. While the original page does mention sleep diaries and questionnaires, there isn't more information regarding those processes. Adding items of the questionnaires or even referencing an actual sleep diary and how it was interpreted could be an informative inclusion. Keep drafting, you got this!