User:Jessemckay

mantra
I am not a smart-ass. I am just surrounded by dumb-asses.

I'm a newshound
I admit it. I always have to know what's going on in the world around me.

I am not a citizen of the world
I do not pledge allegiance to the planet on which I stand.

American citizen
I am an American and I have the long-form birth certificate.

Eligible to run for President
I am a natural-born citizen and I'm over 35.

Various rants
I can believe that it's not butter.

I don't want "hope and change." I want results and smaller government and if these dopes have to spend a trillion dollars, I want the biggest, best border fence on the whole darn planet. If I have to buy an eco-friendly vehicle that runs on sunshine and rainbows, well then, I want to drive a big super-cab truck that goes a hundred miles an hour and I want to haul a boat behind me while I'm doing it.

President Barack Obama
Barack Obama is not "change you can believe in." He is not a different Democrat. He is simply the single biggest advocate for expanded, empowered government in our time. Hey Barack, I can't believe it's not B.S.

A trillion dollar tax hike is impeachable on its face, because obviously government is both engaging in public theft and wasting the proceeds. A trillion dollar spending bill without a tax hike isn't just impeachable, it is a tremendous theft from the next generation. Grand, grand, grand, grand theft.

We've had three slices of the trillion-dollar Obama pie. It's time to put down the fork and call for the check.

Sayings
Did you miss me? Did you miss me like you miss a friend, or did you miss me like, you threw a rock at me but you missed me?

Advice
Don't take a lesson from a moron.

Nothing is too simple. There's always someone out there who's even simpler.

How To Tell When Your Party Is Trying To Throw The Election
The Democrats tend to win elections when they run a closeted left-winger who is a complete unknown outside of his home state (Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama.)

The Republicans tend to win elections when they run a conservative who has served as the governor of a major state (Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush) or the (moderate but hawkish) sitting Vice-President (Richard Nixon, George H.W. Bush.)

When the Democrats want to lose an election, they put up a clueless Yankee liberal who has worked in government for his whole life (John Kerry, Walter Mondale, George McGovern.)

When the Republicans want to lose an election, they run a tired, old war hero with moderate views who has been sitting in the Senate for about a million years (Bob Dole, John McCain).

When the independents want to lose an election, they run Ralph Nader.