User:Jiewlord/Phenylacetone/Mac239 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Jiewlord


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Phenylacetone
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Phenylacetone

Evaluate the drafted changes
Peer review

Lead

The introduction provides a good overview of phenylacetone. To improve, a description of phenylacetone's bonding and functional groups could be included. A citation is needed for the statement, “This substance is used as a starting material in the manufacture of methamphetamine and amphetamine.” Since it features part of your improvements for this article, a summary of phenylacetone synthesis should be included in the lead. A mention of phenylacetone in popular media could also be added to the lead to make it more comprehensive. While I understand why you changed clandestine chemistry to secret chemistry, I think it may confuse readers since clandestine chemistry is a specific field of chemistry. Because of this, it may be better left as clandestine.

Synthesis

I like the addition of the chemical reaction diagram in this section. To stay consistent, it would be great if you could prepare similar reaction diagrams for the reaction of chloroacetone with benzene. Information could also be included about which method is favoured in industrial production. A reference is needed for the phenylacetic acid reaction, and there is an additional + in the product section of the diagram, which should be removed.

Amphetamine metabolism

I like that you include a description of amphetamine metabolism. Since this article is about phenylacetone, I think there needs to be more about its metabolism into either hippuric acid or 4-hydroxyphenylacetone. You could also discuss whether phenylacetone is toxic to humans and its effects. I think you could include more links to other articles, such as linking: deamination, liver and urine.

In popular culture

Nice addition of the reaction diagram, but you might want to consider changing its position as it is currently half in the reference section. Instead of linking to netflix.com, maybe you could find a synopsis of breaking bad that you could cite. Is breaking bad the only tv series that includes phenylacetone? This section is likely to be interesting to many people, so it would be great if you could add more information to it.

Content

The content you've added is a great start. There are areas where new content could be added: are there any other reactions that phenylacetone is involved in? You could also include a section about the structure and bonding in phenylacetone and identify the key functional groups. The "In popular culture" section is missing information and should include other movie and tv series references to be a balanced and compressive overview.

Sources

You can find a synopsis or overview of breaking bad to replace the Netflix citation. Try and find secondary sources which can supplement the primary research articles you have found and cited. The preparation of phenylacetone is from 1940; are there any newer sources you could use? The source is needed when you discuss the conversion to hippuric acid and its excretion.

Style

You did a great job of writing neutrality, and I didn't find any grammatical or literary errors in your writing. You use language that is understandable by a wide range of audiences, and complex terminology is kept at a minimum. The sections are logical, and the writing has a good flow.

There are a couple of instances of passive voice:

This substance is used as a starting material in the manufacture of methamphetamine and amphetamine

Sodium acetate or pyridine have been employed in this reaction.

Phenylacetone can also be prepared by reaction of chloroacetone with benzene in the presence of aluminum chloride catalyst.

The amphetamines will be broken down to hippuric acid, where it will be secreted from the body via urine.

Overall

Your contributions have done a great job improving the phenylacetone article, great work! The strength of your improvements is that they are easily understandable to a wide range of audiences. To improve the article further, I suggest adding more information and building on the current sections to make a more comprehensive overview of phenylacetone.