User:Jimmybob15

Steven Thorpe is a famous physicist from Walsall, in the United Kingdom. He is a former Physics teacher at Queen Mary's Grammar School, Steven is rumoured to be receiving a doctorate in his beloved physics and writing two books: Steven: The Life and Times of a Nation's Treasure and Thorpisms: The musings of Steven Thorpe. Caving into popular demand, Steven will be appearing next year on BBC One's This Is Your Life.

History
Born to Martha and Stuart Thorpe in 1979, Steven has shown much talent in the field of physics from a very young age. At 12 his was voted Little Miss Walsall's Physicist of the year, and at 15 came first in the National Physics Olympiad. Seeking a challenge after wasting his vast and witty knowledge on lesser children, Steven ventured to Queen Mary's Grammar School in 2005, and will remain there until the Janitor wrenches his cold, dead hands from his teaching room.

Thorpisms
Although somewhat respected for his actual teaching, Steven is more popular with his witty quips about life, death, physics and others, commonly known as Thorpisms. Researchers state that there are almost 798 different Thorpisms dotted through out history from 1979 onwards, with 456 of them found in the 2005-6 Thorpic era. Here is just the tip of the iceberg:


 * "A new planet in the Solar system has been discovered, named Xena. X-E-N-A, as in the warrior princess."


 * "Have you heard of an Electrostatic precipitator? No? You haven't Lived!"


 * "Welcome back to the wonderful world of Physics!"


 * "Most of your hand is made up of water. And blood. Mainly blood, really."


 * "It's my Disney Balloon. I want to give it to a small child and make their day."


 * "Imagine the charge as a great, big ball of coulomb."


 * "Don't you dare try to learn in my lesson!"


 * "Mr Ashley, you're sooo gay, admit it!"


 * "Where's Williams gone? (Notices Williams hiding under a desk) Get out Williams, or be square!!!"


 * "Aliens did not create the universe. If it did, it would have to be one hell of an alien. It would have to be the mother of all aliens."


 * "It's easy to vaporise yourself..."


 * "None of you have got any good pictures of me. Probably a good thing. I dunno."


 * "My name is not important. You will call me 'Sir' for the next two years. After that, who knows?"


 * "This equation is very important. It is your friend."


 * "If you were hit by microwaves...You'll be alright, just hide under the bed."


 * (In light of seeing the previous 'Will someone please shut sargeant up' thorpism on this page) "Could you remove it please? I don't want my colleagues to think that I wish to induce violence in my classes."


 * "I don't want to be Obi-Wan, I want to be Chewbacca!" (Proceeds to make a chewbacca snarl)


 * "Sweet heavens of Murgatroid, what do you think you're doing?"


 * "For this experiment, we will not use a resistor...we will use a lightbulb. We have evolved."


 * "You're gonna take down the results and plot the graph while you're doing the experiment, just like proper scientists."


 * "My Words of wisdom should never be allowed to be viewed by the public."


 * "Wright, contribute to the lesson more. And shut up."


 * "Now that OFSTED are gone I don't care about your problems!"